


Blood of a Stripper

by Empressing



Category: Togainu no Chi
Genre: Drama, Drama & Romance, Drug Use, Explicit Language, M/M, Romance, Smut, Strippers & Strip Clubs
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-14
Updated: 2018-08-05
Packaged: 2019-06-10 12:23:29
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 8
Words: 32,194
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15291459
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Empressing/pseuds/Empressing
Summary: Rin works as a stripper at a club called II Re's Palace, which doubles as a hotbed for Line dealers and abusers. Akira fights in the local battles for under the table money. They find themselves trapped in the same world and finding solace in the miserable grind of their lives.





	1. The Club

                                                                  

 

   Rin noticed him from the moment he walked in, his silver hair caught the light and made him think of someone else. His heart nearly skipped a beat and a less talented dancer would have fumbled on stage. Not him, he knew how to control matters of the heart. What the man with the silver hair did offer was a welcomed distraction, not from his job, but from any rooming thoughts. Right now, Rin was mindlessly accepting money from people he hated. They were basking in his body, his way of being. He was lovely, and dainty compared to most of these men’s wives. A fetish fantasy for women who loved indulging in the sexual prowess of gay men. The latter was better, given they didn’t give off the creep vibes the men did. He never saw anything but noisy money sign. Right now, he saw the man with the silver hair. He had a similar face to man Rin once believed he loved. That man was gone now, perished to the real world.

   He saw the silver haired one being led over to him by a manager, though the real business owner wasn’t in sight. Not that he needed Shiki’s permission to put his ass in a hot guy’s face. Silvery (as Rin mentally referred) sat down to the left of the dancer. The waitress brought a drink and Silvery seldom spoke to the business man he was with. Rin flipped upside down on the pole, hoping nobody would notice the half chub in his daisy dukes. The moment his legs were ready for the slide down, he locked eyes with Silvery and caught his name rolling off the tongue of his confidant. _Akira._ Akira was staring at Rin, disinterested in his current matters. That’s when he heard the other man laugh,

  “Ah more focused on Russian Roulette. I didn’t take you for the type, but he does look like a girl.” He laughed, Russian Roulette was Rin’s stripper name. Shiki came up with it, referring to Rin’s unstable personality and half Russian ethnicity. Akira was staring, Rin hated this song but loved the attention. He was generous towards him including sitting on the edge of the stage to fling his legs in Akira’s lap and making sure to get back up so his ass pushed up in Akira’s face. He finished the performance and received some claps while he picked up his money. 2000 yen easy. Rin watched Akira finish his deal from afar before rushing over him,

“I have never seen you here before!” Rin put on his cheery act, he was looking for positive attention.

“No, you haven’t. I don’t like places like this.” Akira stated bluntly, “What do you want?”

“I’m Rin, what is your name?”

“…”

“Oh, don’t worry, everybody is a nobody here.” In the dimly lit room filled with couches and tables, sweaty bodies and self-loathing, everybody was anonymous. This meant everybody is free. Politicians, businessmen, artists…everyone melted into one pot of sexuality. Boys fucked boys, girls fucked girls, boys and girls fucked and everything in between fucked. It was all about cash and pleasure, as sterile and detached humans can get from sex. 

“Akira.” He said trying to push out his surroundings.

“I’m Rin!” The blond squeaked, pretending like this wasn’t awkward.

“Yeah well…” that’s when Akira’s payer came up to them and a grin spread on his stubbled, slightly fatty face,

“Oh, Akira don’t be like that! After all this is our new meeting place, right?!” He then gazed over at Rin, who now had a questioning look on his face. Akira gave him an uncomfortable look before the man started speaking again, “Ohhhhh this one likes you? Russian Roulette! Man, with a name like that I’d be careful. Not that it matters too much, you really get the ladies Akira.” This of course wasn’t true, women liked Akira, but he never cared about dating so the advances of anyone didn’t matter. Rin rolled eyes at the man,

 “Well Akira, I will be seeing you around! I have to get back to work!” Rin grinned and cheekily skipped away, leaving Akira confused about the whole interaction. It was extremely awkward, and he wanted to leave the strip bar immediately.

 “Our business is done I will take my leave.” Akira turned and strode out of the club with relative ease. When he walked outside his eyes trailed over the neon red sign outside of the club that read “II Re’s Palace”. It was the dead of night, Akira wanted to go home. He knew what led him to this, fighting for money. Sure, he had a day job, but it was shit and didn’t pay the way he needed it to. The money he was making bartending that yuppy restaurant was a scam. He had been grinding for 3 years now, serving every rich and bloated asshole you could imagine overpriced cocktails. He was only making enough to cover basic bills and nothing more. That’s why he started to do this under the table. Winning a fight and instantly making 9,000 yen once a week was the help he needed. He’d even been able to cut back on his hours at the restaurant. A relief, he couldn’t quit working there outright, but he didn’t have to sweat it so much anymore. Besides, beating the shit out of someone was the perfect stress relief. It was a humid night as Akira walked down the road this strip club was located in. It was kind of infamous, the owner had been known to put people in the hospital for fucking with his dancers and the manager hustle drugs. Neither were seen tonight and he hoped that when people said he would likely never see the owner, they were telling the truth.

The neon lights dimly lit up people scurrying away into the darkness to do Line. It was 11 or later, he guessed. There were very few cars still out on this side of town currently at this time of night. This was the bad side of town. His only glimpse at the good side of town was when the bus dropped him off to go to work in the morning. Akira tried not to look too long when that happened, he knew everybody lived around the bar was middle class or richer. Something he would likely never be. He couldn’t deny having money would be nice, but it seemed like it didn’t provide many valuable people. People were worthwhile based on themselves and not on social class.

 When he climbed the rusting stares to his apartment, he observed the barren grey walls and suddenly thought of that stripper. Who was it? Rin? Yeah Rin. His real name was certainly more acceptable than that stripper name of his. Though, he was sure the name was for his own safety. Russian Roulette was dangerous sounding. It was effective in doing all the jobs a stripper name needed to be. He could never be a stripper, he was fairly modest and loved his privacy. He didn’t understand the blond boy’s approach of him. He decided while undressing that he was too tired to think anymore and went to bed.

* * *

 

 Rin was paid 1500 yen to blow the guy. He did it because he pocketed all the money he made from doing such things. He discovered he could keep all the money from sex working after Shiki said quote _‘I don’t a cut of your cum money’._ He was only the stripper with such privilege, however. He took a cut of the money that the others that did the same thing. When he questioned Shiki about this Shiki asked him why he gave a fuck, then came back and said that if it satisfies him to know, it was because they were brothers. His brother’s morality was strange, he didn’t want Rin’s money from fucking guys or blowing them, but he happily took a cut of his stripper money. He guessed the risk of having grotesque stains or sweaty hands on it was way less likely.

 Rin was the highest pulling dancer. His face deceptively feminine and his body was equally as deceptive in it’s daintiness. Really Rin was strong and didn’t take shit from his coworkers or clients. Once he had caught a new girl Shiki had hired (a stripper named Black Lagoon) stealing his money, he initially beat her until her eyes were black. One night after Black Lagoon healed from the incident, she was put in Rin’s place while he had to play waiter for a coworker who bounced. She made some comment about his being a faggot who will never be as good as her, so he broke her jaw and told her dumb whores like her will never be anything Line addicted cumrags. That’s why they called him Russian Roulette. One moment he was being cute and serving drinks cheerily and the next he was beating the fuck out of some stupid bitch. Some men found it hot, most avoided anything more intimate than business. That was until Kazui came.

 Kazui was so handsome, he ever paid anyone else mind except for Rin. His dark hair, charming smile, fit body and kindness… Rin had been nothing short of aggressive in his romantic advances towards him. Kazui used to beat off would be rapists and catch people trying to rob Rin. As well as helping him resist the siren call of drugs. Eventually, he had managed to snag time outside of work with Kazui. Then one day, he just disappeared. At first Rin believed that he had just been busy, then days, then weeks, then a whole month passed. Kazui was gone. Rin remembered the day he had to admit it to himself. He’d come to work in a fit, kicking some guy who tried to grab his dick on stage right in the face. His aggression towards customers that week had been so bad it pulled Shiki out of the woodworks to come and bitch at him. Shiki knocked him down several notches and then disappeared. He hadn’t seen his brother since that time and he didn’t need to. Nobody knew he was the brother of the owner and he intended it to stay that way. The less people knew the better. It was the same attitude people took towards Line, nobody knew exactly what it was. There had been rumors the cops knew what the drug was exactly, but Shiki and whoever the source was had apparently scared them into submission. II Re’s Palace had become a hot bed of drugs and hookers. Rin never felt unsafe though, he could fuck up any Line user who wanted to play badass. That and nobody really wanted to mess with the owner. Shiki had been rumored to kill people who either knew too much or tried something really dumb. Those rumors were true, a few times Rin had to clean up blood when Shiki had just left a body outback. He had in the past and would do it again. A lot of the strippers at the club were not actually strong enough to work the pole. They just did Line so they would have the strength. Rin didn’t need Line and would continue to the be the best boy toy on stage without drugs.

  Then there was the new guy, Akira from tonight. He was…a look alike of Rin’s almost boyfriend. He was pleasing to the eyes and his lack of perverted spirit really was Kazui’s air. Even though it had been over a year since he last saw Kazui. Akira has rushed in and out of that place and only briefly amused Rin. Akira’s business partner had mentioned women in his life. Rin wasn’t surprised, he was good looking and seemed decent enough. Of course, he was straight, just Rin’s luck. Kazui was too. Rin had an attraction to men he couldn’t be with. Just another reason to be rattled with self-hate. Rin tried some reasoning with himself though. How many men that are supposed to be straight to the world had came in and not batted an eye at the female strippers? Too many to count. Then again Akira being a homophobe might explain the way he had treated Rin, a true straight guy just entertaining him for business stake.

  Rin wanted to find out what Akira’s deal was here. But he didn’t have time for that tonight, he was soon on for his final and longest dance of the night. He dug around in his bag for touch ups. He pulled out his foundation compact, mascara, brow gel and clear gloss. Many people were confused on the nature of male stripping. Yes, male strippers wore makeup just like the women. While it was true that male strippers did have to be more naturally attractive than the women; but, most male strippers wore at least subtle makeup to enhance their faces. It was all part of the illusion, the fantasy. Every club that had men always had one guy at some point who insisted on wearing neon orange eyeliner or something equally as stupid. Those guys didn’t take the hustle seriously and were usually gone quickly. They believed stripping to be a beauty pageant instead of a job, that was a dangerous mix up. Rin dunked his brush into the compact and packed it down his face and neck area. He then put on the tinted brow gel and applied one coat of brown mascara. Then just to make sure everything was looking fresh he sprayed himself with beauty mist and put on a thick coat of the gloss on his pout. He checked himself in front of the full body mirror. His usual plaid daisy dukes, thick leather kink buckles around his neck and wrists, giant red knee-high platform PVC boots, and backless black top that stopped at his waist and exposed his arms too. Usually he was Rin, but when he wore this outfit he became Russian Roulette. The perfect piece of meat for boys and girls alike.

 He heard the announcement start, Arbitro the Line Dealer’s voice boomed with the same sickening perverseness that was on the faces of every degenerate out there right now. He was god awful, tacky, sick and sadistic. The perfect manager for II Re’s Palace. As Rin walked out all the bright lights shown on him and he adverted his eyes to something else but kept his falsified grin. He danced and danced, money covered the stage and filled his shorts. When the dance was over, and the club was ready to be closed for the night. He laid on stage, staring up into the black vacuum above his pole. Arbitro’s giggles couldn’t be ignored as he approached, Rin sat up and stared him with an annoyed expression,

 “Ah Russian Roulette or should I say, Rin since we are in good company.” Great. “Shiki has a task for you, he says you can keep all the money this week if you do this one thing for him.”

“What?” Rin glared at his gold feather boa, hating this man’s prowess.

“Get this week’s shipment of Line. Shiki is feeling a bit on the edgy side this week I should say.” What was he getting on about? Sure, Shiki was his brother, but he hadn’t actually talked to the guy in months. Nor did he care about whatever hair brained mood swings Shiki was having. Arbitro held his arms out and gave the most unconvincing ‘gentle’ smile.  “It would serve him greatly for you to get them. They should be here soon, in the back room. Deliver it to my chambers down stairs. Now hurry I have matters of pleasure to attend to.” Rin rolled his eyes, he hated being a drug runner, but he would do it for all the money he made this week. Then when was walking away Arbitro looked back over his shoulder and said, “Oh and Rin…Do not be afraid of him, he is only dangerous when told or provoked in my experience.”

“Who? Shiki? He doesn’t give a shit about what is happening right now.” Rin shot back.

“No, no, no not Shiki. Our source.” He said with darkness lacing his voice before smiling and disappearing into the depth of the basement. Rin crankily pushed open the door to the back room. It was sterile back here, this was where the doctor came to test for STDS and pregnancy. The shiny white and metal room with the medical table in the middle. The half empty glass cabinets containing medicine and condoms. The clear sink and marble counter top. This room was totally out of place here. Shiki created it so that the dancers wouldn’t be a liability anymore by going in and out of the local clinic with Line in their system. The doctor came here, took our blood and urine samples, put anti pain meds, prescribed antibiotics and condoms in the cabinets and left. Then 3 days later we would all be handed our medical reports by one of Arbitro’s men.  That happened every two weeks. He sat on the table while he waited. He was waiting about 5 minutes before he heard soft foot steps echo through the alley out back. Then he watched as the door handle slowly turned. The unexpected walked in, carrying a large suite case. He was foreign looking, too foreign looking. He had light brown, curly, unkempt hair and wore a beige sweater. Two of the buttons on the white shirt underneath the sweater were undone and revealing a bit of his chest. His collar bone was gaunt out of his translucently white skin. His eyes were faint blue and like marbles sucking Rin in the moment they made eye contact. His face was totally devoid of emotion or personality. It was like he was staring at the shell of a former human. Yet the man breathed in and then spoke.

 “Here.” His voice was deep and silky, his slight accent creeping through. He was definitely not native to Japan. He placed the suite case down and began to turn away, before Rin piped up,

“Who are you?” The man let go of the door handle and turned slowly, “Why did you just trust that I was the guy you wanted? You’ve never seen me.”

“To see is to believe, to assume one has not been seen is to believe you are private… In your profession, nothing is sacred… including yourself.” He said slowly. Rin felt annoyed at the implication of that. He was a drug dealer, what right did he have?

“I don’t care what you have to say about my job. I asked your name.” The beige man simply left, and Rin was too tired to chase after him. It wasn’t like his identity was a life or death matter anyways. Rin picked up the suit case and brought back in the club, he went to the hatch that led into the basement and climbed down the stairs. Here was Arbitro’s lair. Here, young beautiful men disappeared and never came back out. He knew what went on there, that’s why he was aloud down here. Men were tortured, beaten and raped, then sold as sex puppets to the highest bidder. Arbitro called it art and Rin had sneered at him. Apparently, he wanted to do the same to Rin but Shiki had said his highest paid dancer was off limits. Arbitro was gross. The moment he walked down there, he saw a man spread limb by limb against the wall. He was pierced all over his dick and was covered in dried blood. The man looked at Rin lifeless and croaked out something unintelligible. Rin rushed past him. The worst was yet to come, however, to get to Arbitro you had to walk past his dimly lit torturer’s delight rack and his cages of half dead men. No matter how many times Rin saw it, he never was fully numb to it. He was lucky to be Shiki’s brother for once. It had saved him from a fate truly worse than death. Rin adverted his eyes as best as he could from the horror. The groans and the stench of blood were assaulting enough on their own without him looking it. He pushed open the wooden door and saw Arbitro’s office. The room was painted black with faux marble desk top and pillars against the back wall. The wooden bottom of his desk and everything else in the room was trimmed with imitation gold. The floor was a black carpet and, in the center, sat Arbitro in his tall, wore leather chair. He truly got off his imaginary power like no other. Rin hated him.

 “Ah Rin thank you, bring it here.” Rin quickly sat the suitcase on the desk and back away quickly. Arbitro looked in inside and giggled, “Ah yes he was generous, I do adore his brashness.” Rin turned on his heels when he was stopped by Arbitro’s voice again, “Say why don’t you stay for a minute, do not worry I can not do anything to you. II Re is most frightful, he would have my creations and I can’t just give them away like that!” He yelped, feigning distress.

“No thanks, I have to be going!” A nervous laughed rolled off Rin like ice touching warm air. Arbitro laughed and then started going on,

“Oh, I know the human mind too well, you especially, cutie.” Rin felt the onion rings he ate from the bar early ready themselves to come back up when he called him ‘cutie’. “You must have a question about the man you met tonight.” Rin turned to look back at the masked freak with a worried look, “Even though you won’t entertain me I will still give the pleasure of his name. I am sure he didn’t say it. He’s only ever said it for Shiki as far as I am aware. But even I am shaky on the details of that tale. Oh!” Arbitro yelped with delight as his horrifically mutilated pet human, Kau, approached and sat on his lap. Rin wanted to run back upstairs and right to his home it had to have been like 2 in the morning he was guessing. “Oh, my truest love Kau is here, he likes you, Rin. You’re so spirit and your homosexuality rolls off you the same way as it does me! It makes me feel a bit less alone, you know how I feel like no one else I have met.” It was true Rin and Arbitro were both gay, but they were nothing alike. Rin was horrified at the notion that they were. His face went sour. He was just a guy who worked as a stripper and wanted a regular boyfriend. None of this sadistic torture porn bullshit Arbitro was into. Rin began to open his mouth before Arbitro stopped him, “Ah whatever you plan to say, I am sure you’d prefer the man you met tonight’s name. After all, you will likely see him again and again and he will never tell you. ~” Now he was imprisoned by Arbitro’s words and he gritted his teeth while he learned this apparently very important information, “His name is Nano and is our source for Line. He fabulous! Try talking to him sometime. Who knows, maybe you two being boyfriends would be perfect for business.~”

“Fuck no.” He said too emotionally, he loved Kazui and was waiting for him to come back. Nano from tonight wasn’t his type at all.

“Ah, still wrapped up in that guy from over a year ago? Tragic. You should try something different, your ass is being wasted.” Rin felt his face flush with anger and he turned the door handle violently. Slamming the door behind him he ran all the way past the chamber and up into the empty club. When he got up there he screamed and stomped. He wasn’t the pig Arbitro was! Not even close! His money was still there, people knew better than to touch it. He grabbed his black velvet bag from behind the curtain and began to angrily stuff his money in the bag. He was tired, he needed a shower and sleep. He didn’t have to work tomorrow because it was a Monday, so he could sleep as much as he wanted. He put his stripper stuff, including his shoes, into his locker; making a transition into regular clothes. He was too angry to relax on the way home, stopping home in his slip-on men’s shoes. He was making enough now to afford this two-bedroom apartment. It was barren as of right now, but he had big decoration plans. Rin just hadn’t gotten around to shopping. He had intended to date Kazui and eventually have him move in to the completely empty other bedroom. He was kindaof basic in that way. He’d always dreamed of having a live-in boyfriend, someone to call his own. Someone to love, he would have done anything for that to be Kazui…He shook off his thoughts as he undressed for the shower. He was small, he didn’t look at himself in the mirror for too long. It would only make him hate himself. He showered quickly and once he dry. One had lotion on his body, he crashed and burned to sleep.


	2. Accidentally On Purpose

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rin and Akira have hazy drunken sex after Rin cons the guys Akira does business with.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NSFW Chapter

                                                                    

                                                                

   Akira’s shift was almost over, then it would be over to the strip club to get his fighting money. He won the fight last night with only a bruise on his stomach. He was serving drinks at the bar. The restaurant was dimly lit for atmosphere. A crystal chandelier dangled and created light bounced off silver serving trays. Candles in the center of each neatly arranged table. The bar was hard oak and stocked with only the finest liquor in Japan. The floor was carpeted and cleaned every week. The walls were painted deep red and baroque style light adornments were placed on them. Women wore every matter of expensive old movie star style dresses. The men wore only the nicest suits money could buy. Akira observed a woman in a backless, sparkling, floor touching, gown giggling with her friends as she showed off her expensive engagement ring her rich foreign boyfriend had bought her. Everything here was a sight to behold. Akira was far too ‘cheap’ to be here. Even though he was wearing a nice work outfit that made him look a butler. He shook the drink mixer and poured it out, garnishing with an expensive herb that tasted like shit but the rich loved for its mere market price. An older woman wearing a business outfit was delighted and handed him her card. He ran it and asked for her signature. She made some comment about how ‘handsome’ he is. He ignored this. Jesus Christ, he thought, this lady was up a tab of 14000 yen just in cocktails. Tonight, wasn’t busy, but then again, places like this were never busy unless something big was happening. Rarely was anything worthwhile anymore, however.

 His shift ended without incident and Akira changed back into his street clothes, placing his uniform in a laundry bag. His boss insisted everything be dry cleaned, so Akira left it here and his boss did it. Now, in his normal clothes, he looked like himself once more. He made his way to II Re’s palace. He looked around and didn’t see his payer. He was agitated but opted to wait. He really wanted the money from the recent fight. He crept into an empty booth in the darkest corner of the club. Hoping nobody noticed.  He was wrong. While he was waiting that same blond stripper, Rin, approached him again. Way too happy to see him, he was a skeptic of the workers here,

 “Ah Akira, you are back!” Rin smiled brightly, and Akira wiggled in his seat.

“Hello, Rin.”

“Oh, you remembered my name too!” Rin slide next to Akira in the booth causing mild discomfort. But Rin himself was so cute Akira found himself not minding too much. But Akira had his aversions and found himself quickly making something clear,

“Look, I’m not the type. If you want me to pay you for something, I’m not going to.” Rin looked shocked for a moment then giggled,

“Oh Akira, I know that! I’m on break! You aren’t like the other guys here…” Rin smiled happily, his slight blush going unnoticed in the darkness. Akira really was a genuine guy. Remembering his name and all, he saw people as people. Not objects. Akira grunted, and Rin leaned in to him a bit. He was feeling attraction again. He never felt attraction to anyone in here. But Akira was different, his face a proxy for Kazui.

“Why are you being so nice to me?” Akira questioned,

“Oh Akira, isn’t possible to just like someone.” Rin got close putting his hand on Akira’s thigh and his head on his shoulder, “From that first dance we had, I liked you.” This whole thing was bizarre for Akira, but he couldn’t bring himself to push the small dancer off him. Rin stayed like that for a minute before the payer and some of his men showed up. Rin bounced up, “Ah I guess break is over!” He dashed away, and Akira looked at the empty set beside him as though the whole interaction had never happened.  There was some joke chatter about Akira getting in good with Russian Roulette. But his lack of interest in anything but the money quelled the talking quickly. The transaction was done and over with shortly, but then one of the guys suggested drinks. Akira refused while the others took shots, until of the one guy grinned and pointed at Rin curling himself upside down around a pole,

“What if we got Russian Roulette to party with us?” All the guys laughed,

“Yes Russian Roulette, he seems to like our man Akira!” Another jeered, they all wanted Rin. Akira didn’t really want to be the one to treat him an animal. He stayed silent until he heard a guy call Rin over at the end of his dance,

“What is it?” Rin chirped, his voice so delicate compared to the gruff of everyone here.

“How much is it to buy you for the night in the VIP room?” He snickered, Rin gazed at Akira and then his eyes jumped back to the man asking,

“30,000 yen to buy me for the rest of the night.” He stated in a very formal matter,

“Woah shit you are expensive, oh to hell with it!” The man pulled out his card and handed to him, “Run it!” Rin grinned and took the card with a sly face, he was going to rob the stupid fuck. Akira looked at him, he wasn’t going to say anything. He didn’t care if the man was robbed by Rin. When Rin came back they were all escorted by to VIP room, which was pink and covered in velvet. The pole in the middle was shorter than others on the main floor. The men were getting pretty drunk. Akira was still sober, he looked at Rin.

“Permission to sit beside you?” Rin smiled and posed sexily, Akira looked at him,

“Fine.” Rin sat beside him, putting his legs over Akira’s lap. Akira couldn’t help but stare at how smooth his legs are, they also had a bit of a moisturized shine to them. With Rin’s pole dancer abilities and well-groomed demeanor, it was no surprise he was a money maker. He had a feminine face for which Akira imagined many men could deceive themselves into believing they weren’t truly engaging with a male stripper. Akira didn’t mind though, boy or girl, Rin was cute. Akira didn’t need to delude himself, Rin being a boy didn’t bother him one bit. He was watching the men around him get progressively more drunk, Rin grinned,

“I’ll bring in my friend, that way you can have me all to yourself.  They are so drunk they won’t know I didn’t dance for them.” Rin winked, Akira opened his mouth to protest before he peaked out the curtain and called out the name of another stripper, “Yui!” a few moments later a stripper with bleached blond hair, heavy makeup, knee high metallic gold stripper heels and wearing a gold, sparkling one piece appeared. She was tacky, and Akira didn’t understand the obsession with fake wealth around here. Rin spoke to her quietly, “I charged his card 70,000 yen, you’ll get a cut if you dance for me. You won’t have to do anything, they are way too drunk to get an erection.” Yui grinned,

“How much?”

“34,000 yen.” Rin replied sticking his tongue out a little at her.

“Deal.” She nodded as she began to dance. Rin stood up and tugged on Akira, “Come with me?” Akira looked nervously as Yui and the men clapping, drunkenly stuffing yens into her breast cups. He didn’t know what he had gotten himself into.

Rin looked impatient for a moment, before smiling, “Ah Akira, it is alright, nobody will bother us. I have already written down that I have been bought out for the rest of the night.” That’s when one of the men almost spilled a bottle of liquor on him. He stood up, making his decision to follow Rin. Rin grabbed his hand with excitement, “Yui is her real name, her stripper name is Lemon Cake. Due to her love of yellow and gold. It’s her gig. She’s a golden stripper.” Akira made a face at the notion of a ‘golden stripper.’ Rin looked at Akira’s face, his eyes wandering all over the club. “Damn, you really aren’t the type. Lucky for you, you get me for night! Don’t you feel lucky?”

“Doesn’t your boss mind that you are doing this?” Akira asked.

 “My boss? No! As long as the card cleared for the payment he doesn’t give a single fuck about what I actually do for the rest of the night.” Rin’s voice was playful, suggestive, “Stop being so worried, Akira! We are fine for the night! Now come with me.” Rin tugged Akira along into an empty private room, it was smaller and had a door that locked. Rin led Akira inside, checked the door to ‘OCCUPIED’. There was a pole, Rin gestured to it. “I could dance for you, but you really don’t seem to care for that sort of thing…” Rin sat next to Akira. He almost seemed nervous. It didn’t make sense to Akira, when Rin danced was so confident and right now, alone in this room, he was nervous.

“What is wrong with you? Why are we here?” Akira questioned him, he instantly perked up,   
 

“Well Akira…we’re here because I know you aren’t going to pull something.” Oh so that was the deal? He didn’t want to do anything with anymore guys for the night.

“You could just leave you know, if working is no object now. Why me?”

“Because I really like you, Akira, guys like you are so rare.” Rin smiled gently, removed his boots and moved over to put his legs on Akira’s lap once more. “It’s alright, you can touch me if you want. I wish all men respected me as much you do. It’s like because I’m a stripper I’m not longer a person to these guys, haha.” Rin said that way too casually, it disturbed Akira how numb he was to be treated like a piece of meat. Though he supposed that was a consequence of this line of work. You had to be able to leave your own body to be able to do it. Akira slowly placed his hand on Rin’s calf and a giggle escaped the blond, “You are so tame!” Rin’s face turned red as he grabbed Akira’s hand and put on his lower thigh. There was an awkward silence before Rin piped up,

“I’ll call in some liquor for us.”

“I don’t want to buy that.”   


“Don’t worry about, the liquor is part of the price of buying a dancer for the night.” Rin stood up, going over to an old phone mounted on the wall. Akira couldn’t help but observe Rin’s perky butt in his stripper outfit. It looked good, but Akira was keeping his mouth shut on the matter. He pressed in 3 numbers and asked for a bottle of AO Vodka. He didn’t get anything else, it didn’t surprise him. Men usually did like their liquor straight. Akira really wasn’t a drinker, but he thought one shot couldn’t hurt. Rin huffed in frustration at something and he exaggerated the movements of his hips as he disappeared for a moment into the main part of the club. Akira leaned back on the loveseat and breathed out. What was he doing? He should just get up and leave right now, he didn’t owe this weird stripper anything. He didn’t pay for him and he wondered what Rin’s real motives were. He stood up, brushed himself off and took a step towards the door. That’s the exact moment Rin came back in the room, holding the bottle of AO Vodka with his right hand and pinching two shot glasses with the left.  Rin’s eyes expanded and he got a panicked look on his face,

“Y-you’re leaving? Why?” Rin set the liquor down with a slight shake. Akira gave surprised look back,

“…”

“Why are you going? You have me all night, I won’t do anything. I am not going to rob you…” Rin had a slightly heartbroken look that Akira was leaving. Akira felt bad, he didn’t want to hurt Rin. He didn’t deserve this kind of treatment. He’d been nothing but good to Akira. “If you want to leave I can’t make you stay.” Rin looked down,

Akira sat back down, “No, I’ll stay.” Rin put his hands on Akira’s shoulders,

“You don’t have to, I don’t want you to take pity on me!” a mix of emotions passed Rin’s face, Akira responded with a glare,

“You don’t know me, I don’t take pity on people. Either you want me here and I stay, or you don’t, and I leave.” Akira was firm, and he gave the stripper a stern look back. Rin had a slight sadness flickered in his eyes, Akira didn’t understand what he was looking at. Why had that sunny Rin from earlier suddenly given away? Why did he care so much if Akira left? Wasn’t he just doing his job?

 “Do you even want to stay?” Rin was pressing for something out of Akira, the muffled music from the club trying vainly to bridge the silence.

“Yes.” Akira said, faking certainty. Just like that, Rin flipped and smiled, it almost gave Akira whiplash,

“Great, just don’t spook me like that again. They don’t call me Russian Roulette for nothing!” Rin laughed but sounded forced. Akira mentally shook off the incident. Rin filled the shot glasses and handed him one. He went to take the shot, but Rin stopped him, “No, I’ll show how you do shots with a stripper.” Rin grinned and straddled Akira’s lap, he looped their hands holding the shots. “Count on three. One...two...three!” Rin took the shot and Akira’s hand was pulled and had to chase the shot a bit with his mouth. It burned going down and he wasn’t really prepared for how strong the vodka was. It hit him like a punch in the gut, Rin giggled as they put their glasses down for a moment, “Weren’t ready for it? That is cute…” Rin pressed their foreheads together, the scent of liquor already coming off them. A moment later Rin and himself were doing another, then another. Akira lost his jacket and shoes at some point. Rin offered him a fourth shot but he pushed it away, he felt tipsy and his face was flushed pink. Suddenly the blond stripper was looking at him in a certain way, he didn’t fully understand what was happening anymore. “Ah being much drunker than this isn’t much fun anyways, I want to enjoy myself with some memory, hahaha.” Rin straddled Akira. He ran his hands over his face, “You’re not a talker… maybe that’s a good thing, words can do serious damage.” Rin’s face so close, Akira was so tempted to kiss him. He was only human, and Rin was attractive…

 That’s Rin took the initiative and kissed Akira with vigor. The stripper was feeling so loose and the more he drank, the more he became convinced that Kazui was here to return his affections. Rin fondled Akira’s face and grinded against his crotch. He wasn’t drunk enough to not get an erection. It only made Rin more excited, his mind was screaming Kazui’s name. Right now, nothing mattered. He flung the cuffs off his neck and wrists, his shirt next. He slid his tongue into Akira’s mouth while Akira’s hands ran down his body and eventually grabbed his ass. There was a soft groan as Rin released that he was as hard as rock, and these shorts were way too tight. He climbed off Akira and threw them off. He was naked, and he looked over at his illusion of Kazui with glazed over eyes, feeling hot,

“Take off your pants…please…” Rin ran his hand over Akira’s erection that was stressing his jeans. He kicked them off and the blonde’s hand ran over the head of Akira’s dick. Then he swallowed the silver-haired male’s with excited, yet sloppy eagerness. He was so excited it only lasted a moment before he was fingering his own ass in preparation. It was going to hurt so much with only salvia as lubricant. He concluded to stand up and dig through a small drawer under the couch,

“What are you doing…?” Akira said breathlessly,

“Making it easier.” He pulled out a small disposable packet of lubricant, he tore it open with his teeth. The lube tasted disgusting, so he took the AO Vodka bottle and drank it straight, swishing it around his mouth before haphazardly spitting it into his shot glass. He then eagerly coated Akira’s dick and put the rest on his hole, he was excited. But he knew he needed to relax.  Rin kissed Akira with passion, the passion of the love he had for Kazui. Right now, he and Kazui were in love. That is all he cared about. His heart was swimming and he pushed himself down on Akira’s dick, putting his hands on the bigger male’s chest. Akira shivered when he felt the inside of the stripper, it was tight and warm. It felt amazing, he was only excited more and more. He winced for a moment trying in his buzzed haze to get it to hit just right. He made it happen and almost whimpered with joy when he felt the tingling from his prostate go through his body. He held onto Akira’s neck, kissing him. It felt just as great as he imagined, he was so big, the feeling of being full got rid of the void for a moment. Rin rode Akira hard then when he felt himself readying to cum, he kissed Akira, but almost ruined the moment, “Kazui…” Was the name he moaned breathlessly, the vodka had made him come undone emotionally.

“What….” Rin came with a loud moan, he didn’t care if the world heard suddenly, Akira grabbed onto Rin’s ass as he came right after. Every sense was dulled, he couldn’t think about what just happened at all. Rin rolled off Akira and laid on the couch beside him, drifting off in an exhausted, drunken haze. Akira fell limp like a ragdoll. His orgasm was good, he thought. Akira laid opposite of Rin, everything too much of blur for him to think. Akira didn’t know and wasn’t ready for the consequences of his actions.


	3. Violent Blond

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rin is an insane stripper.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am more of a writer than an editor. Sorry for any mistakes I missed. Slight gore ahead.

Akira groaned as his eyes hesitated to open, he had a headache. He felt around on what he is laying on and felt a chill from his bottom half. What the fuck? He was disturbed by the current sensations he was feeling. He opened his eyes, the dim light of the room was assaulting to his senses. He quickly adverted his eyes from the light and looked down at his body. He was shocked to see his genitals and legs barren, his half nude form out for the world to see. Akira tried to sit up too quickly and his head throbbed making his cradle his forehead in the palm of his hand.  Things were quiet outside the room, but he wasn’t home, he quickly that figured out. That’s when his eyes began to focus to the best of his ability with his headache. His eyes scanned what as in front of him: a bottle of AO vodka, an empty packet of something, a pile of clothes… Then finally his eyes landed on…

Rin.

Nude and curled up sleeping on the couch beside him. The tiny stripper’s boyish form was so small. Akira’s skipped a beat as his memories came back in pieces. He had come in here and started drinking. His mind allotted a blurry memory of Rin and himself having sex. His heart was now speeding, he could hear the blood in his ears as he hurried to get on his pants. He dung around for his phone, it tapped away the low battery notification and the time was...3 AM. Akira had got so caught up in his panic that Rin stirred, then a groan. Akira stopped his craze to attend to the blond,

“Rin, I’m sorry…we…” Akira touched the back of his neck.

“Where are you going? You don’t have to leave, stay.” Rin looked dazed and confused, He was so lovely to look at, even now.  But Akira had a more pressing matter that he was worried about,

“Rin…I didn’t…rape you, did I?” Ring squinted at him as Akira dealt with a pulse of brain through his skull.

“No.” Rin sat up with a serious look on his face. “Is that what you are worried about? Weird.” Rin couldn’t believe it, Akira knew he had sex with a guy but that wasn’t the worry. Akira looked down wearily as he felt pain now on the top of his brain, Rin spoke gently, “So you aren’t grossed out by the sight of my penis…?”

“Why would I be?” Akira replied, confusion filling his voice.

“I don’t know…most guys are…they take my clothes off and tell me to turn away or do a girly voice.” Akira thought that sounded awful and couldn’t imagine doing such a thing,

“No, the gender of my partner doesn’t matter to me.” Akira replied with certainty. Rin suddenly snickered,

“Oh, so now your serving me platitudes? Fuck off.” The aggression suddenly became Rin’s face, a dark smile had Akira taken aback. Rin stood and put on only his stripper shorts, “Get out.” Rin opened the door and glared at Akira. Akira pulled on his shoes and jacket, staring at the stripper. Rin’s face lit up with rage, “Get the fuck out I said! I don’t fucking want to look at you anymore.”

“What the fuck is your problem?!” Akira growled back.

“You! Your fucking games, you’re an idiot! You fucked a stripper, whoopity fucking do!”   


“I didn’t just fuck a stripper, I had sex with you!”

“I don’t give a fuck just get out!” Akira’s head was piercing with pain, he got of the door and in his rage yelled back as he left,

“This isn’t over!” a door slam behind him, he supported himself along the wall of the club and got out, the entrance door of II Re’s palace violently shaking behind him. His walking was uneven with a slight stumble. As he occasionally caught himself on alley walls, he thought the way home was too long. He made it there eventually and stripped himself of all his clothing, he thought that a shower could wait. He rummaged around a drawer and found some pain-killers. He swallowed two for good measure then made his way to the bed, almost collapsing into it. Akira struggled for a bit before the drowsy part of the pain killers kicked in and he welcomed the black abyss of sleep. 

* * *

 

Akira woke up to the sun peaking through the cracks in the window shade. He thanked god he had begun taking Mondays off because there was no way anything was getting done today. His headache was gone, but he was still in a fog of emotions. His mouth tasted disgusting too, like vodka. Akira stood up and went to the bathroom to brush his teeth. He then hopped in the shower, making sure to clean his penis extra well. Fuck, he would have to get tested for STDS. He couldn’t be sure Rin didn’t have something. Though, he would never be telling the stripper once he had the test done. He climbed out of the shower and tied the towel around his waist. He then checked his phone: 10% battery. He also noticed Keisuke had tried to call. Akira plugged his phone while he dried off. He dressed himself in sweatpants and an old tee shirt. He took a hair brush to his wet hair and decided to not sweat its actual appearance today because he was just in his house clothes. He went back over to his phone, 20%. Enough to briefly call his worried friend back. Akira hit the return call button and waited, Keisuke answer almost instantly,

“Akira!! What happened last night?” Keisuke’s voice was filled with both worry and relief. “Are you alright?”

“Yeah, yeah, Keisuke, I am sorry. I forgot I had business last night. I am alright.”

“Oh, that’s a relief...Akira...” Keisuke breathed out and audibly calmed down on the other side of the line.

“Look my phone is at 20%, come over, I’ll tell you about what happened.”   


“Okay see you soon!” Keisuke chirped with joy and hung up. Akira plugged his phone back in. He made his way into the kitchen to get food. Cereal again, he guessed, pulling out a small white ceramic bowl. He was too wound up to focus on cooking, even though Mondays were his ‘nice breakfast’ days. He hadn’t gone grocery shopping in a while and suspected he didn’t have all the supplies necessary for such a breakfast anyways. He would just would just go with Keisuke next week. Just as Akira was rinsing out his bowl, Keisuke knocked, and Akira opened the door for him. The brunette with his blue coveralls had a warm expression on his face. Akira didn’t understand Keisuke, he was always so irrationally happy to see him. Akira noticed him carrying a plastic bag of something as he walked his house.

“Ah, I didn’t know if you had eaten, don’t worry about paying me back.” Keisuke smiled, and Akira looked at the bag. He guessed by the smell it was likely miso with some sort of fish and rice dish. He would have to eat it later. Dinner problem solved for the day. “If you did eat, it’s fine, I won’t be offended if you eat later.” Keisuke’s wallflower essence crept into everything he did.

“Thank you.” Akira nodded, it would have to cool before he could place it in the fridge. He sat down on his slightly squeaky burnt orange couch and Keisuke followed.

“What happened last night?” He asked casually, Akira opened his mouth but suddenly was too embarrassed to say it. Somehow, saying it felt like it be violating Rin. He would have to lie by omission and leave the sex part out. He believed his friend would be grossed by hearing about his sexual encounter with another male anyway. Keisuke had made it clear before he found such things to be mildly disturbing, he wasn’t alone in his slight homophobia. A lot of men in Japan were like that.

“You know how I have been fighting to make money? Well when I went to go get the cash I had a few too many shots and passed out…” He said not making eye contact, he hated lying to his friend, but he wanted to quell Keisuke’s nerves. He didn’t want to make Keisuke insane with worry like he had in the past.

“Oh okay…maybe just tell me next time you plan on drinking?” Keisuke’s nerves made his face crinkle,

“I didn’t plan on drinking, but I try will to tell you in the future, alright?” It was the best Akira could give the brunette. He cared deeply about him, they had known each other since childhood. Keisuke already had enough of a bad time at his repairman job without worrying about Akira. Keisuke smiled gently before leaning over to give Akira a light hug and pulling away,

“Akira, I’m glad I am the one you come to when you’ve had a rough time.” He blushed a little.

“Of course, you are my friend.” Akira’s tone lightened up and they continued to chatter. They fucked around for a bit, watching TV and play fighting. They generally just had fun being guys. Akira was enjoying himself, Keisuke made him happy with no strings attached. For an afternoon he forgot about II Re’s Palace, about his fights, about the restaurant and Rin. Before he knew it, the sun was setting. He’d have to eat and head off to bed soon. He turned to Keisuke who was grinning at him, “Ah Keisuke, I’ve had a great time, but I have work tomorrow.” Keisuke’s expression dropped slightly in disappointment,

“I see, well I will see you this weekend, right?” The brunette’s tone almost seemed to beg.

“I’ll call you on Saturday.” Keisuke nodded before gathering himself, he reached the door before looking back at Akira with his mouth open as though to say something. He ended clapping it shut quickly and bid Akira farewell. That was strange, but he was as awkward as Akira, just in a different way. Akira wasn’t feeling all that tired, so he rummaged around the medicine cabinet in his kitchen and pulled out some sleeping aids. He took one and heated up his food in the microwave, it was exactly what he thought it was and he devoured it. He had gotten wrapped up in the joy of seeing his friend and had forgotten to eat lunch. Oh well, it was worth it. He debated on working out and decided to skip a day. Mondays were his days off and he didn’t want to kill the good vibes he had by punching a bag or lifting weights. Soon the sleeping aids were kicking in and he answered his bed’s siren call.

* * *

 

Rin spent the entire work week in what can only be called a true rage. He was snippy, fidgety and on edge. He was buzzed when he and Akira had sex, but, his tolerance was much higher than Akira’s. Thus, his memories were more vivid. Akira had been so into it, Rin was confused. He remembered thinking that Akira was his beloved Kazui. Did Akira know about Kazui? There was no way. Akira must have been lying when he said gender didn’t bother him. The way he grabbed him, like he was into it…Rin furiously filled glasses of beer. He was supposed be on to dance next in 15 minutes but honestly, he felt like was going to murder the next man who tried to touch him. But that wasn’t what was really on his mind…It was Sunday and he wasn’t ready to see Akira. He didn’t know what was about to happen tonight. He dreaded as the clock ticked to his stage time, he got up on stage and the music filled his ears as he made his first swing around the pole. He used his hands to grab the pole, his legs sticking straight out, his calves pressed against the pole. He heard cheers as he moved his body upside down, his legs curling around the pole, his hands tight as he stared straight down at. As he lowered his legs his lower half ended up slammed against the wood of the stage. He made it look intentional but really it happened because not-Kazui was here.

Akira was looking at him with an intense stare. Rin groaned in pain for a moment before recovering and dancing more aggressively. He was pretending like they just didn’t make dead eye contact. Akira was observing him, he was pissed off. He didn’t think the dancer was going to calm down on his own, so he would just have to deal with the fallout. That’s when the dancer known as Lemon Cake came up to him. He looked at her, he suspected she was an alright looking woman out of character. She sat next to him with a sullen look on her face, but all Akira felt was confusion.

“You came back for him…” She said quietly, her voice from before had been so rich and now it was a dainty whisper in the darkness of the booth.

“…”

“It’s a relief, you really aren’t like that jerk he was so madly in love with before.” She sighed, leaning back, she must have been on break. She was a bit sweaty. Her eyes were wanderers over the men giving Rin money. Lemon Cake turned her eyes back to Akira and he got a glimpse of the yellow false eye lashes she was wearing. Maybe he was wrong, yellow really was her color. “Yeah you definitely are his type. That’s why he was so anxious to fuck you.”

“How do you know about that?” Akira was befuddled.

“I was creeping around after those guys passed out drunk. I watch Rin, he’s the only real friend I’ve got. I wanted to make sure you really weren’t like those guys before. I am happy I was right about you.” She said casually, a smile falling on her face. Akira looked down, ashamed he had been acting so aggressive and judgmental towards her. She really was just a working girl. “ I read your face, don’t sweat it. Everybody thinks that about me at first.” She chuckled, putting her arms on the table, she was wearing golden straps that braided up her arms and attached at her middle fingers. Her metallic golden nails lightly tapping. Her giant golden hoop earrings caught the lights of the club with every slight movement of her head as she spoke about her and Rin’s friendship with glee. He listened to her with the occasional smile, wanting to know more about Rin. Until she stopped mid-sentence when she looked Rin’s direction, her eyes expanding with alarm, “Holy shit he has bloody murder in his eyes.” Her voice shook. Akira’s tensed up as he heard the ending notes of the final song, then there was an enraged yell. Akira got out of the booth and intended to leave, not wanting to get kicked out by inadvertently starting a stripper fight.

“You cheap bitch!” Rin’s rage rose above all else and people cleared the way, including Akira who was able to slip away when Rin was at the half way point. Akira merged into the crowd as Rin’s voice only got angrier, he listened, shielded by the crowd. “You fucking want what is supposed to be mine?! I always suspected we were friends because you were jealous of me! Because I’m fucking beautiful and you’re just an uppity bar whore! You want him, but I won’t fucking let it go!” There was a load smack of flesh and screaming. Ah awful wet sound rang out and the crowd made a ‘ohhh’ sound. The fighting was put to an end by the sound of a door slamming open from the other side of the room. Then the crowd went eerily silent, then a voice spoke. It was cold and confident, he knew it from his fighting ring…

“Out of my way.”

Shiki.

Oh yes, it had to be him, suddenly Akira wanted to view what was happening. What he witnessed and heard was terrifying. He saw Shiki carelessly drag a bloody Rin away, he then saw Lemon Cake’s rib sticking out from her. Her heel had snapped and her ankle was puffing up. Akira’s eyes widened, he wanted to help her. And like the idiot he is, he ran over to her as she coughed up blood helplessly. Rin’s war cry was intelligible.

“Shut the fuck up, brother.” Shiki said with slight agitation. Akira had to process the meaning of that while holding the bleeding Lemon Cake’s head up. Someone called an ambulance which carted her away. Had Shiki just said…brother? It couldn’t be. No, no that was wrong. Rin was…fuck. Akira couldn’t think about it. That means Shiki knew full fucking well...ugh, he shook his head in frustration as the club went back to normal like nothing happened. He sat down in a booth far away from the door, his payer wasn’t here. But he knew he’d had to wait until after he was paid for winning his fight to get to talk to Rin.

* * *

 

Rin had seen Akira’s smiles while he was speaking to Lemon Cake. It had sent him over the edge. Who the fuck did this guy think he was? Rin had nearly jumped off the stage, then everything became a blur of screaming and hot rage. Next thing he knew, he was splattered with his friend’s blood and he saw her rib crack right out her torso. That’s when he felt the cold hard grip of his brother pull him off her. He tried to get free, but Shiki was much stronger than he was. He looked back at the perfectly wrong time to see Akira helping Lemon Cake breath. That asshole was next, so fucking help him.

Shiki threw him to the ground in his office, cutting off Rin’s enraged words instantly,

“Who the fuck do you think you are?” Shiki’s rage was cool and collected, Rin didn’t give him the pleasure of his words. “Get the fuck up, tomcat.” The blond lifted himself off the rough carpet and wiped his face.   


“You don’t have a fucking stake in this Shiki, you didn’t care when I broke that other bitch’s jaw and now you suddenly care about the peace? Don’t make me fucking laugh.” A bitter smile crept on Rin’s face and then Shiki chuckled,

“Oh, he didn’t tell you?” Shiki was suddenly smiling sinisterly.

“I beat a chick not a dude.”

“I’m not as dumb as you, I know about everything that goes on out there. I know it was about Akira.” Rin struggled to conceal his frustration, he was going to stand here strong. Shiki didn’t give a shit he was already entering full arrogant asshole mode. “You know about the ring.”

“I don’t fucking care about the fight- “

“Akira is my best fighter and he comes here to get his winning money.” Shiki was reveling. He wasn’t man for pleasures of the flesh, he craved violence. Nothing got him off like bloody fights. That was one of the things that made him tolerable as a boss, he had no real interest in strippers. “You’re being classless, Rin, it’s not nice to fuck your coworker. It’s really not nice to beat your female coworkers half to death over whatever guy has got your dick wet this week.” Shiki was mocking him,

“What the fuck you are planning to do just get on with it, I want to leave.” Shiki’s face dropped at Rin wanting to give up so quickly.

“You already know I won’t remove you, but I am taking half this week.” Rin groaned, but accepted it over much worse things that could happen with the unpredictable underworld lord. “You’re lucky watching her be gored was absolutely delicious, it gave me shivers. Now, go the fuck home before I change my mind and take all your money.” Shiki was still the same blood loving sociopath he remembered.  Rin shuffled out of their and crept into the changing room. He heard a sound and turned, Akira, a glare on his face. Rin smirked again in spite,

“I would say employees only, but I guess lying is part of Shiki’s quota.” He angrily pulled on his pants.

“I know what it must have seemed but I- “

“I know what you fucking came here for!” Rin yelled, “You fucking came here, had some experimentally fuckery with a guy after you beat the shit outta someone and then you- “Suddenly Akira was marching over, Rin backed up “You don’t fucking dare you motherfu- “Akira smacked him hard enough for it to echo across the room and for his body to fall back. “Ahhhhhh! What the fuck!?”

“Shut up.” Akira said sternly, standing over him. Rin saw not hate in Akira’s eyes but hurt, why? Rin didn’t get a chance to an emotion about it, “We had sex. I know you’re a guy and I don’t give a fuck. I’m sure you’ve had sex with so many guys, why do you look at me with such hate?” Rin’s face was throbbing on the side Akira smacked, he was at the silver haired fighter’s mercy.

“Because you fooled me…” He said hesitantly,

“How?”

“You knew I was attracted and you took advantage of-” Another smack. Akira had enough of this.

“We were both fucking drunk, I didn’t take advantage of you. Just because maybe you regret having sex with me doesn’t mean it was unwanted on either of our ends.” Akira hated being like this to Rin, but he had been left with no choice. “I’m not like those other guys, I’m not going to just pretend like I don’t have a connection with you. You can feel whatever you want about us having sex, I can’t change that. But I am not leaving you to rot in this shithole without a fight.” Rin looked away, his rage giving way to deep sorrow,

“Why are you even here? I fucking beat my own friend half to death because I thought she was hitting on you. You were smiling too..” Akira gave a puzzled look before speaking,

“She was talking about you and I was enjoying hearing about you.” Rin was suddenly dumbfounded, then he said something so incredibly stupid it couldn’t believe it came out of his mouth.

“You like me…? Want me, like me? Even after all that?” Akira suddenly looked away and stopped dominating Rin, so he could sit on a chair in the locker room. He was silent, and Rin sat up to see a faint hit of pink on the older man’s cheeks. “Oh, my fucking god you seriously like a stripper?”

“You’re not just a stripper…” Akira said, unsure of his words,

“You really are insane, what did you come back here to try to go a little date with me?” Rin’s mockingly smiled. Akira didn’t really give a response, so now he was stonewalling? Great.

“I just thought, learning about you would better coming from you.” Akira was beating around his true feelings on the matter.

“So, what?” The air had gone from aggressive to awkward. The lights seemed to flicker in response to the confusion,

“I want to get to know you.” Rin looked at Akira, observing his face. He was handsome…Rin thought he’d be an idiot to not indulge him. “One parameter, Rin, it can’t be here.” Akira wanted to know Rin and there was no way he could do that without getting him outside of his job. He was very attracted to the blond, to the point he thought he was cute even in a blind rage. He looked at his blue eyes and saw hesitance, he was afraid of the rejection. His eyes were saying ‘don’t play with my heart’.

“Fine, then, where?”

“Wherever you want, I have money don’t worry.” Akira now had extra money that he didn’t know what to do with. Spending on Rin seemed worthwhile.

“So, do I…What about Saturday at that Kare Raisu place?” Akira knew what he was talking about, he just couldn’t be fucked to remember the name of the restaurant and neither could Rin apparently.

“Sounds fine.” A silence found it’s way between them. This whole interaction had left both of them with mixed feelings. Such a world wind of emotions could not be explained away, eventually, they would have to address all this. Akira stood and walked out. He stared out into the club for a moment, gazing at the dancers, everything seemed to move slow. The shinning of the silver poles, the money being thrown, the stripper heels threatening to break legs, the lights and the music…. this was his new place. He didn’t want to admit it, but he had finally found a space for him to truly be himself. He liked a stripper, he witnessed the violent and deviant forces inside his own mind. Akira would have to either learn to embrace this life or die vainly wishing this wasn’t his true self.


	4. Boyfriend Maybe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A nice Rin/Akira time.

Akira was nervous. He and Rin had already had sex and yet he was fidgeting like a school girl about to go to the dance with her crush. It was stupid. He was in the usual, so his appearance wasn’t the issue. He had picked the wrong night to have Keisuke sleep over. He couldn’t stop laughing at Akira, teasing him. He kept mentioning a girl and Akira didn’t correct him on the gender of his date. Why was he referring to this as a date? He was out of his mind, he didn’t go on dates. Keisuke and he had argued about it, with Keisuke insisting it was a date. Akira was caught up in the noise of it all, the words were not what was important. He wanted to do this for Rin, because he cared about the blond and thought he deserved to be treated right. He smoothed his hair and came into the living room,

“She must be special, you are wearing your good pants!” Keisuke said in a tone that was too excited. Akira rolled his eyes.

“I have to go.”   
  
“I get it!” Keisuke said, grabbing his bag and heading for the door, Akira followed him. He locked the door and glanced at Keisuke who was hovering still. His eyes were sad, and Akira didn’t get it. Last night had been fun. When he noticed Akira’s eyes, he shook it off like it wasn’t anything. “I’m sorry.” He said before he and Akira exited in different directions. He didn’t have time to think about it. Akira was hesitant in his steps, he wanted Rin and himself to have a good relationship. The desire to be close to Rin was real. When Rin was around he felt a strange feeling in his chest. As he approached the restaurant, he almost hoping Rin forgot. When he looked around he didn’t see the dancer anywhere. He walked inside and got seated, they gave him a cup of tea which sipped for a while. The restaurant was really relaxed and fairly empty, it had an old-time Japanese countryside pit stop feel to it. Everything was wood with muted tone trimmings and dynasty inspired paintings were the main décor. As the sun crept through the clouds and touched his window seat, there was no sign of Rin. He kept dismissing the waitress, but he knew he’d have to pay for something to eat soon regardless of whether or not Rin showed up. He could take no for an answer, but this was just rude. He sighed, ready to give up and order something small off the menu. That’s when he heard footsteps approaching and looked up to see Rin. He was wearing a red tee shirt, plaid pants and plain shoes. What was Akira expecting? For him to show up in his stripper clothes?

“You are here.” Akira’s voice was bland, and the weak tea was agitating.

“I got caught up in some business.” Rin’s expression was unreadable at first but then turned into an exhausted, half hearted smile. “I’m surprised.”

“Why?”

“Because you sat here waiting for me. I didn’t think you wanted to see me that bad.” Rin sat across from him, grabbing the other cup and pouring the tea, “This tastes like piss. This is a hole in the wall, so I guess I am not surprised.” He mumbled. Akira was glad there wasn’t any staff nearby to hear the comment.

“I wanted to see you, so I waited.”

“I’m flattered, usually men don’t want to take their tricks out on dates.” Rin grinned, but Akira didn’t find the comment funny.

“You’re not my trick. Don’t refer to yourself that way, you’re a person.” Akira wasn’t trying to be hostile, but he wasn’t good at holding his feelings in about this matter either. The waitress cut that dead end of conversation off quick. They ordered and then looked at each other for a moment before Rin started talking again,

“So, what is it you wanted to talk about, Akira?” Rin’s voice was soft, he was making it seem like last Sunday didn’t happen. 

“Us…I guess.” He wasn’t sure what terminology to use or how to explain himself.

“What about us?” Rin was focused on Akira, right now he felt weird.

“I don’t know I just…”

“I guess we should enjoy our date.” Rin said quietly and Akira made a face at the word, “Or are you embarrassed to call it date?”

“No, I am not embarrassed. I have just never done this before.” Rin chuckled at Akira’s endearing awkwardness,

“Neither have I. Well, not in such a manner at least. I get taken places and I get taken, you know? But never something this regular.” Rin continued, “You’re good looking, you don’t do things like this? No girls?”

“I am not like that, I don’t pay attention to others.”

“You are always so collected, unfazed by everything and somehow still haven’t had all your innocence dashed away, I envy you.” This mood was strange, but it wasn’t like Akira and Rin weren’t getting along. The awkwardness could be excused by the lazy atmosphere and the lack of romantic familiarity on both their ends. Akira noticed attractive people but had never had a genuine romantic encounter. Was that what this was? Akira knew that he was at least attracted to the batshit crazy stripper for whatever reason. Rin knew he liked Akira too, but was having a hard time not projecting Kazui’s image. He was falling in love again with the same guy, except this time he had silver hair, a fluffy collared jacket and called himself Akira. He knew this was a problem, Akira’s very instance on trying to win his heart, as he thought, was blurring the lines between past and present. His love of Kazui was still boiling so much, even after all this time had passed, it was like Akira had relit the flame. Rin was so unsure of this situation, he nearly got up and left. But, Akira did something that was more magical than anything else, he had grounded Rin to reality. With Kazui he found himself in the throes of smoldering passion, with Akira he found himself calmed. When Akira smacked him and knocked him down with words, everything had gone quiet for a moment in his head for the first time in a long time. When he was around it was like his existence was the only thing to Rin. He had been crazy around Akira, yet, here he was on a date with him. In his mind, Kazui finally returned the affection. Kazui was finally the guy Rin wanted him to be. The rejection he had been anticipating from the silver haired beauty was becoming less and less likely.

 They spoke a bit longer about nothing, it was to fill the void. Their food was ate with Rin making the occasionally swipe at Akira’s funny eating face.  Akira finished and asked Rin the question he’d been more curious about,

“Did Shiki call you brother?” Rin’s face dropped and there was a brief silence before,

“Can we not talk about that? I’m having a good time.” His face was slightly sad, and Akira silently understood why Rin had had that reaction. He was sure that his relationship with his brother was less than loving, if Akira knew Shiki as well he thought he did. Though there wasn’t a denial either, they were brothers. Akira didn’t know why he had acted so surprised, people were related all the time. Rin and Shiki being brothers wasn’t really that big of deal if he actually thought about it in a realistic sense. Akira decided to turn the conversation around,

“Do you work tonight?”

“Yeah, every night. It’s no trouble for me, I enjoy my line of work. It’s a tough job, people don’t give it enough credit. I have to deal with some real creepers.” Rin was a wounded soul but the stripping didn’t seem like it was function of it. The stripping was a distraction, he loved both the attention and the money. In many ways, he was a show off, he viewed it as putting his looks to use. Working almost every night never did bother him. Sure he had sex with guys for money sometimes, but that was not even the majority of the nights. This was for a few reasons. The first one being: getting stripper to fuck you was way more expensive than any prostitute. Rin was especially expensive. Sure buying a blowjob or a hand job was cheaper, but outright sex with Russian Roulette was 7,600 yens last time he priced himself. The second reason being that he wasn’t an actual sex worker and he could refuse to do it without penalty. The third reason being that many men preferred actual sex workers to strippers because strippers were actual protected employees with rights. That meant if you assault, try to rob, murder or rape a stripper, you were in some shit that wouldn’t happen with a prostitute. 

“Oh yeah, it’s not something I could do.” Akira responded.

“But where do you work, Akira?” Rin asked, genuinely interested in someone else’s day job for once in his life.

“I work as a bartender at this really fancy place in uptown. Though I can not say the name because it has a gimmicky foreign name and I never learned how to say it right.” Akira’s frankness caught Rin off guard, but he admired how humble he was about it. Akira was tired of sitting down and wanted to walk, he stood and dropped a generous tip on the table. He paid in full with cash and he felt his dancer date brush up against him as they walked into the overcast. Rin, feeling cheeky, decided to play with Akira,

“You must meet all times of high class babes all the time and yet you want the attention of a male stripper. You really are something.” The street was mostly empty, it was a Saturday after all. Akira felt safe to talk,

“I don’t like people like that.”

“Women?” Rin said that in a way too excited tone.

“No, just those rich people in general.” Rin caught Akira by surprised by wrapping his arm around Akira’s.  Akira looked down at their arms and then at Rin, who was glowing,

“You said my gender didn’t matter, right?” Rin said softly, who was this Rin? Akira almost couldn’t believe that violently jealous creature from last week and this gentle love seeker were the same person. It really was like playing Russian roulette. He didn’t know what Rin he would see tomorrow at the club. He was trying not to think so hard about it. He was running his own good time. Akira didn’t remove his arm from Rin’s, Rin put his head on Akira’s arm, “Do you like me? Even though I’ve been crazy?”

“Yeah, I guess so.”

“Then prove it, right here.” Rin looked up at a now confused Akira, “Kiss me. Perfectly sober.” Akira thought about it, looked around for people watching. Then Rin’s face went sour and he pulled away, “I fucking knew it. You fucking did this to absolve yourself of your own guilt. I should know better but I am apparently just so fucking enthralled with your pretty face that I-“. He cut off Rin by grabbing his face and giving him a firm kiss. It caused Rin to open his eyes in surprise and then slowly close them, enjoying the feeling. It lasted a few long moments before Akira pulled away and Rin gave him a sly smile, “Well, I didn’t think you had the balls to do it.”

“There’s a lot you don’t know about me.” Akira turned on his heels to continue his walk. Rin stared at him as he walked away for a moment, he looked good from the back too. Then the blond caught up and looped their arms again. There was a comfortable silence, Rin was radiating. He couldn’t believe he’d done it. He remembered when he asked Kazui to do it in front of his friends and he wouldn’t do it. But Akira had just done it, right there, where anybody could have seen. Rin was impressed, it really was too dreamy. Rin was now thinking he had found his new boyfriend. As leaned into Akira, he thought this was the nicest time he’d had in a while. Akira wasn’t worried about the world in the needy way other’s were, he just was. On this side of town, it was unspoken that were many things going on that the richer part of the town didn’t approve of. He was sure kissing a guy was probably the tamest thing happening right now. There were a lot of people who shunned homosexuality, Akira didn’t necessarily think of himself as gay, but his attraction to the blond on his arm couldn’t be denied. People on this side of town retained an apathy the other side didn’t. He felt bad for Rin, being forced to be a sex toy for men and having heart played with, only for them to make homophobic remarks and treat him like dirt…it was disgusting, and Akira would make anybody who did that to Rin seriously regret it if he ever caught it happening.

They weren’t walking anywhere in particular, but the day was mild and enjoyable. Rin got done reveling in the afterglow of the kiss and looked up Akira. The sun briefly peaked through the clouds to catch the shine of Akira’s hair and his near perfect skin was luminous too. Rin felt his heart flutter for a moment. He was so handsome and bolder than anyone he’d ever met. He felt lucky. Then, he thought he was getting ahead of himself. He hadn’t even asked Akira what exactly they were yet. Rin looked around, there was nobody out.

“Akira, are we together?”

“What do you mean?”

“This was date, right? You wanted me to be yours, right?” Rin bit lip after asking the question.

“You don’t have to. This can be whatever you want.” That was such an Akira response, Rin thought.

“Well do you want to entertain other people?”

“No. Not really.” Akira was blunt to the point of almost being too honest, Rin was mildly unsettled by it. “Do you want to?” Akira’s face was so stunning even with that serious expression of his. Rin looked inside him and found the answer to be no. The thought of Akira even talking to someone else made him crazy. He would be idiot to let Akira go, someone else would surely grab him up. He was a bit off-putting and blunt. But he was also strong, bold and had a will made out of stone. He couldn’t be broken, not even by Rin’s lunacy. He was perfect for Rin, he balanced him out so much. Even injecting reality into him when he had gone really off the rails.

“No, I don’t but my job…” Being in a relationship with a stripper was hard, Rin knew.

“I know what you do for a living, I have known what being by your side means.” Rin suddenly felt like he was giddy all over, and he wrapped his arms around Akira’s waist. His head buried in his chest, he smelled nice. Rin wondered if he was giving off the ‘scent of attraction’. Men gave off a certain scent when they were attracted to someone. He wondered if that what Akira’s nice smell was as well. Akira hugged him back and when Rin pulled their bodies apart his hands trailed down his new boyfriend’s arms to hold his hands. Then he started to swing their hands and grin. Akira’s face was of surprise has he held on tight to Rin’s hands. He felt like he was a school girl who just got asked out by the hot and popular guy. He was glowing.

 “So, you’ll spend more time with me outside of work?” Rin asked, his voice raising in pitch.

“Yeah.”

“Great!” Rin, pulled out his phone to check the time. “I have to start getting ready soon, I need to go.” Akira nodded, but Rin stopped himself from walking away to lean up and give Akira a kiss on the check, causing his face to turn pink. He didn’t have time to ask Rin about it because the dancer had already disappeared.  

 Akira felt himself walking on air. Like reality had temporarily be suspended. The whirlwind of emotions had left him breathless and confused. Had he just got himself a boyfriend? What was that all about? Rin was the king of mixed messages. Akira wondered why he had gotten so caught up in the moment. His confusion didn’t come from a bother about the exact nature of a romantic relationship, but rather why Rin had suddenly flipped. This exact relationship, the nature of this specific relationship with this specific person….it made Akira unsure. But, he wanted to try to see the outcome. He did like Rin. It seemed irrational for a person such as himself to be attracted to someone so…unstable. He guessed that you couldn’t really control that type of thing, though. You really did like you who you like. He supposed he had been listening to some social enforced notion of what his attractions should be. It was always a certain type of woman was supposed to be the dream of all men. Akira never did really buy into that on the conscious level, but at the subconscious level maybe he’d internalized at least some of it. Whatever the cause, here he was, now dating a volatile male stripper. As he walked back to his apartment to get his work out in for the fight tonight, he wondered how many more expectation and social norms he would end up defying.

* * *

 

 Rin was feeling happy. He’d been rutting around his own emotions all week and today the date when great. He had felt great when he saw that Akira had showed up and even better when the older man kissed him on the street. Kazui, he’d been whispering mentally. Akira didn’t know it, but he was merely to pass the time until Kazui came back. He was the perfect proxy for Rin to try himself out romantically. He wanted to be even better than before for Kazui when he came back. Sure, Akira was bold and handsome, but he wasn’t Kazui. He wasn’t as good as him, he wasn’t sociable, funny, or extroverted. Rin wanted someone to have fun with, someone who was just as wild as him. Akira wasn’t that person. Sure, he liked it when Akira balanced him out, but he mostly didn’t crave that. Life wasn’t about that, it was about being caught up in the rush of it. Such is the logic of a mentally unstable stripper.

 He was backstage and seemingly beaming as he checked himself out in the mirror, it was Sunday, so he was sure he’d see Akira tonight. He would be more than happy to see his new boyfriend. All last night he’d debating on whether or not to ask him if he could watch him fight. He was like Shiki in the sense that he enjoyed the occasional bloodlust as well. He was sure if Akira was winning his fights enough to be liked by Shiki and be paid at II RE’s Palace, he was a good fighter. He was interested in seeing him in action. Rin had been told that Lemon Cake would recover. He didn’t care, if that display is what won Akira, it was worth it. His coworkers didn’t hold it against him. In fact, one of his coworkers even said that Lemon Cake should have known better. He felt a bit guilty due to that he felt he beat her up too hard, not he did it, just he should have called it good when he knocked her to the ground and snapped her heels. He turned his head to see the stripper called Glassy looking at him. She was called Glassy because one of her eyes was glass with a blue opal colored pupil that was in sharp contrast with her other dark brown, real eye. She wore clear heels and iridescent outfits, her pure white hair just topped it all off to make her look a mystical creature. Rin admired her gimmick, it was a bit more original than a lot of other strippers. How many BDSM or little-baby-pink-girl-gone-bad type strippers were there? Too many. Glassy was a welcomed relief.

“You are shimmering tonight, Russian Roulette! What’s happening?” She spoke her playful tone, she was genuinely playful and ambitious, unlike Rin who was just a good actor.

 “Oh, you know, men and such.” Rin winked at her and Glassy, with her quick wit and people skills, knew what he meant. 

 “That good lucking guy you beat that gold bitch over still likes you? I’m not surprised though, you’ve always been popular with the fellas. He seems nice and if he tolerates the insanity of a stripper, he must really be something special.” Glassy was grinning from ear to ear, her insanely tall glittery clear heels clicking together. She was wearing what the dancers at II RE’s called a ‘hooker veil’. It was a shimmering mesh view covering her top half, he was sure she was going to throw it out into the crowd of men when revealed that she was only wearing little star shaped nipple pasties underneath.

“You’re extra naked tonight, what gives?” He joked.

“You know what gives. I gotta show more skin the nights I work beside you because I can’t compete with your pole work. I can’t even do have the things you do. I still wonder how you are still so small and yet so strong. Without line too.” She shook her head but her joyful attitude didn’t escape her. She wasn’t bothered by Rin’s ability. There was a reason that different types of strippers existed. Some men liked almost full nudity and others were into great pole dancing. Erotica, in any form, is truly a matter of tastes.

 “Well you know, it’s difficult. I was a fighter before I was a stripper, so I am strong.” Rin was giving himself a round of applause for his own feats of strength. Glassy batted her long, white false eyelashes and the intense silver highlight on her cheeks made her skin look like metal.

“Hey, RR, how hard is it for a stripper to get a boyfriend?” Rin looked at her, he wasn’t used to getting asked such questions. He was certainly not the love expert.

“Depends on the stripper.” He responded 

  
“How hard was it for you?” she was suddenly quiet, a look of longing in her eyes. Rin knew that she looked up to him, including asking him how to pole dance properly at one point. It was weird being admired by another stripper. He wasn’t as emotionally invested in things as Glassy was.

“Very. Men are users.” He tried to hold back being outright bitter about the situation, but most strippers knew it to be true. She didn’t ask anymore questions and responded with a simple thank you before walking out to her shift. Glassy must have been feeling bad about something, strippers frequently got their hearts broken. He watches her walk out, her stripper veil sparkling in the light. Really, she was more suited to be a model than a stripper, he wondered why she worked here. She was well-balanced emotionally, playful and had a great sense of self. Glassy didn’t belong in a place like this, this wasn’t her world. He felt bad for her.

 Rin didn’t let the interaction get the best of him as he swung from the pole. He was feeling so good tonight that he even took off his top and took a shot from some guy. He was making so much money tonight. All his customers were feeding off his good vibes. Rin looked around for Akira, he wanted to see him so much. He wouldn’t take his break until he could spend it with Akira. But as the night got on, he didn’t see him. The good mood began to slowly wane. Where was he? He looked on the clock as a break time came up, he decided to take it, despite not seeing Akira. He went in the locker room to retrieve blotting paper and got rid of the sweat build up on his face. Rin walked down to sit at the bar, the stripper known as Ocean was working there tonight. She was a Chinese woman with a thick accent Cantonese when she spoke, cascading straight jet-black hair down to her hips and she often wore dark blue outfits. She was great at making drinks and at pole work.  She was work horse and she was steadfast in her ethics. Ocean took no shit from anyone. He asked her for a blood dragon, a drink Shiki had come up with. It wasn’t strong on the liquor and tasted great. Shiki sometimes wasn’t the worst person you’d ever met.

 Glassy came by, “Boyfriend is here!” She giggled and ran away before he had a chance to take a swipe at her. He was glad his worry wasn’t coming through. Rin looked behind him to see Akira, who was looking around. Rin smiled and hoped off the bar stool to Akira, abandoning his drink. He was sure Ocean wasn’t amused.

“I was worried you’d changed your mind.” Rin touched his hand,

“No, I was kept over time.” He squeezed Rin’s hand back, his eyes wandering,

“What are you nervous about?” Akira looked back into the dancer’s eyes,

“It is nothing, I am just unfamiliar.” That made Rin smile even wider,

“Let’s sit down, have you received your payments for the fight yet?” Rin guided Akira to an empty booth and cuddled up next to him.

“No…wait, how do you know?”   
“Shiki told me.” Rin said in his ear.

“You aren’t angry that I didn’t tell you myself?”

“No, it’s not a big deal. I actually wanted to ask you…. can I watch you fight next week?” Akira thought about this for a moment before responding with his own question,

“Why?”

“Because I used to fight before doing this and I hear you are pretty impressive.” Rin was being flirtish and for once it wasn’t for money. He was glad he had contained his mildly upset heart.

“Yeah I guess.” Akira really didn’t mind, he just thought it was a bit weird.

“Great.” Rin and him agreed that Akira would take him home tonight so he would know where to pick him up at. Shiki changed the location of the fights so much that Rin wouldn’t even know where to begin. Rin found himself briefly lost in Akira’s presence and a faint whisper came from him. “Kazui…” Akira heard it, he opened his mouth to ask about it but he payer showed up and Rin went back to work. It bothered Akira, but he decided to not fuss it right now.  When the night was over Akira waited for Rin in the empty club. The blond appeared in normal person clothes and Akira still wasn’t used to it. The dancer happily took his new boyfriend’s hand and they walked to his place together, making light chatter. When they arrived Rin gave Akira a goodbye kiss and crammed his way into his apartment.


	5. Lover's Way

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cute and then suffering.

                

  Akira had been obsessing about that name Rin kept saying: ‘Kazui’. He hadn’t intended to worry so much, but Keisuke told him that when someone you like keeps calling you by another’s name it was legitimate cause for concern. He waited in the parking lot of his apartments for Keisuke to show up. They were going to go grocery shopping together. He liked taking his friend, it made the whole experience less tedious. He had his little orange and grey rolling bag with him. He checked his money, he had enough for once. Keisuke showed up also with his dark blue rolling bag behind him, his smile was welcomed by Akira. He didn’t want to seem distant from his friend. None of this current situation was Keisuke’s fault.

 “Ah Akira, you lead the way. You have the best tastes.” That wasn’t completely honest, but Keisuke was just so nice when everybody else was being insane. Akira let things slide with him a bit too easily. They made their way to the store and Keisuke couldn’t help himself but to tease. Akira hadn’t given him any updates on that girl he went on a date with. So why they were at the fruit stand Keisuke joked, “A piece of fruit, say did you give that girl a piece of yourself?” Akira looked at Keisuke in disgust. Keisuke was snickering at Akira’s blushing face.

“This a public place.”

“Akira, there is nobody in here. “He looked around and saw that Keisuke was right. Akira still wasn’t amused at Keisuke’s nonsense however,

“Stop it.” Akira commanded,

“Okay, okay….” Keisuke didn’t lose his warmth and they went on, eventually checking out. Keisuke and he had been chatting about something unimportant when Akira saw Rin from a distance, talking to someone in a man in beige. He instantly put up his hood and made the decision to take the long way home, hoping Rin didn’t notice him. He was fast walking and Keisuke, not knowing how to be subtle, yelled out “Akira, where are you going?!” Shit. He now was betting on a losing team and he’d have to introduce Rin to his friend. Keisuke caught up with him and Akira had a hard time concealing how annoyed he was.  He didn’t have time for Keisuke because daintier, rapid footsteps were coming up behind him. Akira quickly took off his hood and looked back to acknowledge the blond who ran up to him to give him a kiss him on the face. The sound ‘ohhh’ sound Keisuke made in response grated on his nerves.

“Akira, you didn’t tell me you were out today!” Rin smiled and gave Akira a peck on the lips. This was all too much right now. He noticed Keisuke had gone mysteriously silent. He looked over and Rin clung to his arm. Keisuke’s face was borderline horrified.

“Keisuke, this is Rin, my….” His what? It was like he was scared to say it, so Rin decided to shout with glee about it,

“I’m his boyfriend!” Rin grinned and nuzzled into Akira’s chest.

“I didn’t take you to be like that….” Keisuke scratched the back of neck and for some reason was now blushing. What the fuck was even happening? Akira was so frustrated at the whole thing, if he didn’t like the boy on his arm as much he did, he might have shoved him off. He instead glared at Keisuke,

“What does it bother you?” he was clearly annoyed.

“No! Of course not! I accept you anyway you are, Akira…” a sigh and a sad look on Keisuke’s face was creeping, “I will leave you two alone, I guess. I will call you later, Akira.” He quietly strolled away and once he was out of sight, he looked at Rin,

“What is wrong with you?” Akira’s tone was accusing and he pulled away.

“Wrong with me? You haven’t told anybody, why?” Rin was mildly upset.

“Because I wasn’t sure.”

“Well now you can be, we’re boyfriends.” Rin looked sternly into Akira’s eyes. This was test. He was begging Akira to say something, to take it back, to change his mind. The older male refused.

“Okay.” There was a weird, lingering silence before Rin spoke,

“Can I come with you?”

“Why?”

“Why not? Can’t we just be together, I can call into work…”

“Your work is more important than me. “Akira began to walk away, Rin didn’t just let his boyfriend sit with that and grabbed onto his arm,

“No, it’s not, I have a decent amount of money, I want to come to your apartment with you. I want to be with Akira. “Rin slid his hand down Akira arm and twined their fingers together. It made Akira’s heart throb, he didn’t want to say no. He squeezed Rin’s hand and decided to believe him. Taking Rin home to be alone with him for a little didn’t sound like such a bad idea anyways. Rin smiled as he realized Akira was giving in. He was happy that he could spring himself on Akira and his boyfriend would take him.  Rin was led to a seedy complex of apartments and he had heard about these before. It seemed reasonable that Akira lived here. They were the ‘cement place’ apartments with an okay landlord in Shiki’s territory. Akira guided him up to the second story and to his apartment. He unlocked it and Rin almost ran inside. Akira rolled his cart in to take off his shoes and jacket. He then began put his groceries away while Rin opted to bounce over the couch. The old burnt orange couch was surprisingly comfortable.  Rin envied how practical-minded his boyfriend was. He made conversation as he observed Akira’s food choices. He was man who knew how to balance convenience with health and Rin loved him for it.  “Akira, this is small, how do you live?” he questioned, observing the one bedroom in all its greyish glory.

“There was never anybody but me, this is fine for one person.” Akira was right, but something was stirring inside of Rin. Something that wanted to tell Akira: he wanted to say he didn’t need such attitudes anymore because he was a member of a couple. He opted for something less intense,

“Well now you have me so!” Rin smiled,

“I have Keisuke, he fills the empty days.” Akira had never been a man of words and right now he had just said something horribly wrong. He only realized how it sounded the moment after it came out of his mouth and had to prepare for Rin’s reply with anxiety,

“Akira…is he why you were so good?” Akira got a horrified look on his face and turned to Rin who looked worried,

“Fuck no. I have known him since I was a kid.” Akira shook his head, even the thought of him and Keisuke…it was a hard no. He never looked at Keisuke that way, especially now that he had Rin. Rin, on the other hand, was smiling again. Akira really was too genuine, but someone people just were more naturally inclined towards good sex. After all, his boyfriend was decently endowed. Rin took off his shoes and Akira walked over to the couch. Akira was awkward and sat away from Rin, this wasn’t fine by the blond and he crawled his way over and sat on Akira’s lap. He put his arms around Akira’s neck and in turn Akira put his arms around Rin’s waist. They weren’t talking because Rin had other plans in mind. He moved his face closer to Akira’s and they kissed. It turned into tongues and Akira running his hands down his small boyfriend’s slender body. Rin pulled away briefly to catch his breath, he could feel Akira’s erection below him

 “You…” Rin said breathlessly before going back to sucking on Akira’s tongue. He felt his shorts getting progressively more painful, “Please do me.” He moaned. Akira felt this couch wasn’t big enough, he gently pushed Rin off and the blond panicked. Only then for that feeling to be dispelled immediately; Akira was touching hand and looking to his bedroom. Rin’s face only felt hotter as they went in and shut the door. They took each other’s clothes off and Rin knocked Akira to bed, straddling the silver-haired male’s hips. The heads of their penises rubbed together and it sent chills down Akira’s spine. He ran his hands down Rin’s chest and pulled him down for a kiss. Rin spit into his hand and stroked Akira’s penis, Akira followed. It was so hot Rin eventually had to stop both their hands,

“What is wrong?” Akira whispered,

“I want you inside me.” Rin had a look of desperation on his face as looked around the room, he didn’t see a proper lube in sight and he huffed. He didn’t like having sex with only salvia as lube, he would make it work because he was as stiff as board. He took a deep breath and slicked his fingers down in his mouth. He began to making a scissor motion to loosen up. Akira was being patient, he wanted Rin to feel good and be comfortable. Rin crawled down to put Akira’s dick in mouth briefly and then sat right back up to his former position. He hovered his ass right above Akira’s dick, his boyfriend offered his hands and Rin took them. He squeezed and braced their palms together, slowly lowering himself onto his boyfriend’s penis. It was just as big as remembered and he felt a lot of pressure, it took him a minute for him to be comfortable. He felt so full and Akira had moaned so loudly when he felt the inside of Rin. It was tight, it made him so excited.

 Rin put his hands on Akira’s chest and started to move, his found his sweet spot and began to grind against there. He bent over to kiss Akira, who moved so that he could grab Rin’s hips and ass. It took a few minutes, but they found their rhythm and made the wall behind Akira’s head creak. Rin whined and begged for Akira to it harder, he did. Rin’s sounds of pleasure were almost screams they were so loud and Akira buried his face in the blonde’s neck to conceal his moans.

 

 “Kazui…” the name faintly escaped the dancer’s mouth, the silver haired one didn’t have time to think about it. Rin and Akira managed to come at the same time, Rin almost fell off Akira when it was over. They laid separate from each other for a few minutes, both panting with bright red faces and some sweating. Akira and Rin’s hearts were a mile a minute. Both of their bodies felt like jello and there were no words as the afterglow washed over them. Akira turned his head and spoke to Rin after the ecstasy had begun to fade,

“Why do you say that  name when we are being intimate?” Rin’s eyes expanded quickly and then calmed again. He kept saying ‘Kazui’ during sex or romantic times and Akira had finally said something about it.

“It’s just a noise, a happy noise.” Rin had to find a way to dodge this for now, “I say it like ‘kazoo’! A funny word. It’s my secret.” Rin grinned and Akira smiled back, blissfully unaware of the lies he was being fed. Akira turned on his side and touched Rin’s face, he thought the blond was pretty. Rin had never experienced a guy who wanted to kiss and touch him back during sex, he hoped he could convince Kazui to do the same things. But when Rin looked back at Akira he didn’t see anything but his own reflection back. Rin couldn’t help it, he was affection starved and Akira happily took him into his arms. He felt bad. Akira was really a good guy, just awkward. He wrapped his arms around him back and kissed him slow, the way lovers do. It was a little cold in that small room and Akira covered their bodies with his blanket. Rin inhaled Akira’s smell, he smelt of sex and men’s deodorant. Rin kissed Akira’s chest and listened to his heart beat. There was a comforting silence, he felt totally safe in Akira’s presence. Not for his muscles, but because he had seen him at his worse, yet he kissed him the streets and let him into his house. What was even better was the fact that Akira needed not a drop of liquor or pressure to have sex with him. Rin imagined himself in love with Akira and thought this might be the moment it may have happened. Akira on the other hand was certain he was falling in love with Rin, he just wasn’t ready to speak of it out loud.

 The day passed by them quietly, Akira had been happy to just lay with Rin after had sex. Rin enjoyed himself to the point where he briefly napped. Akira made  the first move because he had to use the bathroom and after he was done washing his hands; Rin did the same right after; wiping off between his ass and legs while he was at it. They were both still very naked standing in the hallway and Rin giggled. Rin put only his briefs and shirt back on, Akira didn’t know it yet, but Rin wasn’t leaving tonight. Akira followed his lead and looked the time, it was perfect to make dinner. Rin bounced happily into the living room while Akira got out all the stuff he needed to make a full meal. He flipped through the channels Akira got in and found some trashy j-drama show that was a good laugh for a little while. He looked over his shoulder at Akira, who had put rice on to steam and once now cutting up beef strips while a pan was heating up on the stove. He was making sure he was making enough gyudon for both of them. He wasn’t a chef by any means, but he could do basic dishes that turned out decent enough. Rin couldn’t help it, he stood on the other side of the counter where Akira was concreting on their meal.

“Well now a man who opts to cook for his boyfriend is definitely better than take out!” Rin said in a joking tone, but he meant it. Even something as simple and as plain a dish as gyudon that came from Akira’s work meant more to Rin than any fancy dinner. It showed Rin that not only was Akira practical and hardworking, but that he cared as well. The silver haired male looked up from what he was doing and gave Rin a half-smile while cutting up onions. He added sake and soy sauce to the heated pan.  There was a sizzle sound as the beef and onions splashed with the sauce and the heat. The TV was on in the background, but Rin couldn’t have given less of a fuck about it, he watched Akira and admired his beauty. He was sure Akira was somebody’s dream guy, another moment when he thought he would have fallen in love with Akira. His heart did feel good around him, enough for meals, sex and talking to him to be pleasant.  

Akira stirred the contents of the pan and turned off the heat once it was done. He reached above his head and got two bowls down. He filled them both half way with rice and topped it with the meat and onions. He pulled open a drawer to his side and placed a set of chopsticks onto Rin’s serving, he then put it up on the counter. Rin eagerly seized it, he was hungry. They both went the couch and sat down.

“Thanks, babe.” Rin chirped as he started to dig in, it tasted good. It sure beat the other shit he ate at the club normally at dinner time.

“You’re welcome.” Akira didn’t eat nearly as fast as Rin did. The TV was still on and Akira couldn’t be bothered to turn it off. This wasn’t fine dining, they could be casual. When they finished it was Akira who took their dishes. Rin also watched him clean the pans and dishes they used with care. He was feeling more charmed by the minute by this man. Akira made his way back to the couch just in time for another show to start. Rin laid on Akira and looked at the TV.

“Got this shit sucks and it’s in 7th season? People are just as dumb as I thought.” Akira stated bluntly, and Rin snickered,

“Oh, what Yukino’s love triangle with Ichika and Asahi isn’t exciting?” Rin’s tone was sarcastic,

“You were paying close enough attention to catch the names of these characters?” Akira was surprised,

“Nah I’m just good at names.” Akira found that answer agreeable as he turned off the TV. Rin sat up on Akira’s chest, staring at him in the eyes, “But I have some conversation for you.”

“What is it?”

“When did you realize…that you were, ya know…?” Rin’s eyes looked away for a minute

“What?”

 “Into guys?” Rin blurted out,

“I never really thought of anything that way.” Akira was already tired of this,

“But how did you know you liked me?” Rin really wanted to know,

“I just did, it’s really not something I thought about. Us both being guys is totally irrelevant to me.” Akira let out a sigh, Rin was insecure about them being a same sex couple.

“Oh…” Rin didn’t have a good response, but Akira wanted these feelings to end in his boyfriend,   
“Look, you’re way overthinking this, all that matters is that we like being together, right?”  Rin looked away again and a silence floated aimlessly between them. Rin thought about, and he was being a bit stupid. Akira had more than proved himself to be a willing boyfriend to Rin. He imagined that Akira might even be falling in love. He felt a pang of guilt for doing what he was doing but he kept the course moving mentally. Akira knew the risks of falling for a stripper. Rin smiled at Akira and reach up to give him a kiss. He tapped on Akira’s chest for a moment before he had an idea,

“I want something sweet, let’s go on a little adventure.” Akira would do anything with the blond, he just liked his cheery presence. They both rolled off the couch and put on their pants and shoes. They walked out in the darkness, it was a bit cold and at first Rin didn’t complain but Akira noticed his shivers as trotted down the street. He stopped him and wrapped his own coat around him, “Oh Akira, it’s fine.”   
“No, it’s alright.” Rin felt his heart throb as Akira’s smell was all around him. He slipped his arms into the jacket, it was comically oversized on the blond. Akira didn’t mind, he thought he looked cute.

“Oh Akira, can I stay the night with you?” Rin’s eyes were playful,

“Yeah, I guess.”

“Great!” Rin flung the baggy sleeves into the air as his voice echoed and he grabbed onto Akira’s arm. Akira really had nothing to lose at this point, they’d already had sex in his home, what was sleeping in the same bed? Nothing, he realized as his heart pitter pattered for Rin, he was well beyond the point of no return with this boy. Rin was feeling so happy, he had a skip in his step. They entered the semi busy streets, there were still many places still open. Rin decided on castella for his sweet and Akira didn’t object. They picked a small street vendor, bought of some the cake and proceeded to walk back home. They got stares but Akira didn’t mind, he was with the one he liked the most right now. The bustle, the lights, the murmurs…all irrelevant when he looked at Rin. Rin paid for cake, saying that Akira paid for their food last time so now it was even. They walked away, accomplished. Rin put Akira’s jacket up on the rack and they took off their shoes and pants again. They opted to eat the cake with their hands, not really feeling like making anything else dirty. Rin tried to feed Akira to which he refused, and it made Rin giggle,

“Oh, you’re so unsexy Akira, that’s why I give you a piece of my ass whenever I can!” Rin winked, and Akira nearly choked on that fucking castella in response. There was even more laughter from Rin. When they were done Rin threw the carton away and pounced on Akira from over the other side of the couch. “Boyfriend is here!” Akira gasped for air as his body took the full blow of Rin’s weight,

   
“Holy shit I just ate.” Rin stuck his tongue out at his boyfriend and gave him several kisses on the cheek. They talked and fooled around some more before they wore themselves out, they went to bed together. Akira gave Rin one of his own house shirts to sleep in. Once the lights were out, Akira was asleep, cuddled deeply into Rin. Rin was awake for a few minutes in the dark, staring at Akira. His boyfriend’s beautiful face was partially illuminated by the moon. He thought of all the things Akira had done for him. The silver haired beauty really did care, he was serious and up to the rigor of anything. Rin imagined he could love Akira if he were just someone else.

* * *

 

 There was flying of fists, a swing of a blade, dust in the air, blood flowed, and bones were broken. Akira was in the zone, his cool expression never leaving, and Rin was equally as enthralled by his fighting. Akira was grunting and sweating, but fuck he was winning. Rin would have been lying if he wasn’t a little turned on. The crowd was roaring and cheering Akira’s name, Rin joined them. There was a wave of excitement as he watched Akira pin his opponent down and the guy shrieked out in pain as his ribs were crushed. Akira stood over him, his face, neck and hands coated in blood. The crowd screamed, and Shiki stood over on a high above platform, declaring Akira the winner. People touched him and for once, Rin wasn’t the focus. Eventually, the crowd settled to talking amongst themselves and Rin ran up to Akira for a kiss.

“That was great babe!” Rin exclaimed,

“Thank you.” Akira was so humble even though he was the best fighter, Rin kissed him again and they walked out together. Once they were out in the street Akira informed Rin that he had to clean up and go to work now. He told his boyfriend he was invited to his place after his stripper shift was done. Rin nodded and gave Akira a long drawn out kiss, he almost said I love you, almost. They parted ways.

Rin headed to the club, putting on his best stripper outfit, he gave the mirror a kiss. He strutted out in the club and started dancing. He was feeling high off Akira, they’d fucked the morning before the fight and it was really good for Rin. He had bought lube this time. He was doing all sorts of shit on the pole, including having his feet touch the ceiling and doing a dead-drop flip into a split. It hurt his balls for a moment, but some guy threw 1,000 yen at him he was so impressed, making it worth it. He was the amazing, the sexy, Russian Roulette. Rin was smiling and having fun, he felt bold. Finally, Glassy convinced him to take a break. He sat at the bar, patting his head with blotting paper and throwing it away. As he looked around, swirling the bar stool and drinking some shit Glassy recommended, he noticed Akira walk in. Wait Akira? No, he was at work. Then some more familiar faces, he looked again at ‘Akira’. A wicked grinned came to his face.

Kazui.

Finally, the time had come, the silver haired idiot would never know what hit him.


	6. Violent Blow.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I hope you love to suffer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kazui is an asshole because I make the rules. Shorter chapter than usual.

                                                

  Rin never showed up at Akira’s place. Akira had waited for hours, the clock slowly ticking by. He’d been hoping to see Rin because he was still on his victory high. It evaporated slowly, and his heart told him something was wrong. Ever since they started dating, Rin didn’t leave him alone like this ever. Akira fell asleep at unknown time and still hadn’t heard a word from Rin.   He decided to go to work, hoping that he would hear something. He didn’t, and a day passed. Then 6 days. Something was so very wrong, what happened? He was missing Rin and he was worried. Even during his fight he’d fumbled a bit, he couldn’t stop thinking about Rin. As he shook up drinks at the bar, a regular he had, approached him,

“Hey you alright?” Her dainty little voice caught Akira off guard, he poured the drinks with some shaking of his hands.

“Yeah I’m fine.” He said putting the drinks on the serving tray. The waiter lifted them in the air and carried them anyway. He smoothed his shirt and she gave him a worried look,

“Are you sure?” She was annoying him, she was a daddy’s girl with more money than brains,

“Yes, I’m fine.” He snapped, and she got a stunned look on her face before scurrying back to her table. Nobody else approached him for the rest of the night. His boss was out so he didn’t hear it from him. He was going to see Rin tonight and he was upset. What was this boy’s problem? Akira didn’t know, and he was going to find out. He marched into II Re’s palace and looked around. He did not see Rin and he wasn’t dancing. When Akira finally did see him, his heart dropped right into his stomach and his face was stupefied.

Akira watched as Rin was led into a VIP room and man, who looked like Akira. Rin was clinging to the man the same way he clung to Akira and he even laid a kiss on the man’s cheek.  He was aware strippers sometimes would fake affection for more money. That wasn’t it, Rin’s eyes sparkled, and he smiled warmly at the man. They were gone. Akira couldn’t fucking believe it. He was doing things to that guy like he did… He felt sick and collapsed into a booth facing away from the VIP door. He could feel his heart breaking, what the fuck? So, and he Rin weren’t dating? That was just some shit he said to make himself feel better? Akira felt confused.

 Akira looked around, his eyes seemed to focus on someone who was looking extremely out of place. That man in beige from the other day…as though on cue, the man turned his head in Akira’s direction and began to walk over to him. He seemly glided like a ghost, totally and utterly disinterested in what was around him. He sat across from Akira, who was so deeply entranced by the man he didn’t even mind. They made eye contact and Akira felt himself drifting,

“Who are you?” He said it so quietly he thought he’d get no response, but he did,

“Who are any of us?” The man’s deep and calming voice found its way through the music and voices around them. For some reason Akira found the logic in that answer. Who was he? Who was Rin? He felt betrayed by his own senses. He leaned back and looked around at the strippers, god he was an idiot. It was so obvious, Rin was just using him for a giggle. Fuck. His eyes rolled around his head until he saw Shiki approaching. Wait what? Why he was he so calm about that? He could only watch the situation unfold and he heard the footsteps stop at his table. The mysterious man turned up to Shiki,

“What the fuck are you doing here?” Shiki growled at him, Akira had never seen any emotion on Shiki’s face, let alone the hatred he saw now. The man in beige smiled wickedly, yet his glassy blue eyes held nothing still.

“We both know you are not going to do anything about it.” The man said, his voice icy and mocking. Shiki huffed,

“We have a deal, Nano.” Shiki spit out.

“And what is that deal? Oh yes, I am in control.” Nano turned his head away from Shiki, he seemed utterly bored of him. Akira had never seen such defiance. What he saw next was equally as amazing,

“Don’t fuck anything up.” Shiki said, turning away, Nano couldn’t have cared less about what just happened. Akira turned back to the situation that was happening. Nano was still here, and he gave him a stare. There were no words between the two. Akira’s payers came and had left him with a bottle of strong liquor to boot. Nano didn’t move during the whole interaction. Akira didn’t ask him to leave. He wanted to leave, oh so badly, he wanted to block Rin’s number and never worry again. But he couldn’t, he had to see it, and have it engrained in his mind.

He grabbed the liquor he had been given, a Finnish-imported liquor with a name he couldn’t say. He unscrewed the lid and sniffed it, it was pungent, and he shoved it away. He looked at Nano who stared at the bottle. Akira slid the booze to Nano passively. He was feeling disembodied and everything he did felt like he was watching himself. Nano observed the bottle, running his hands over it like he’d never seen alcohol in his life. He tapped the top and then twisted it open. When Nano smelled it, making a face that elicited a chuckle from Akira. He found him to be quit charming in a weird way.  A welcomed distraction.

Akira had one of his hands on the table. Nano reached over and touched him, for some reason, he didn’t pull away. The next thing he knew the man was on his side of the booth. He gave a confused look, but he was oddly calm about what was happening. Nano put his head on Akira’s shoulder, Akira was fine with it. When they touched it felt like electricity and Akira let emotions flood him. He was lucid. Let what may happen, happen. He felt he was ready to be taken back to whatever star birthed him. He leaned his head against the booth. The twinkling of the strippers’ outfits matched their silver poles, everybody sounded and smelled the same. The same horrid face graced the mugs of every patron. A muddled mess of disgusting. His eyes drifted to Nano, who was peaceful enough for eyes to be closed.

 Rin was in the VIP room, blissfully unaware of Akira. Kazui had been with him everyday since that first day he came back. Akira hadn’t made any contact with him either. He was glad he’d picked a temporary who was easy to run all over. There was another stripper in the room. Glassy. This was a celebration. He draped his legs over Kazui and he had acted like he didn’t even care. That man’s smile could light up a room, his attitude was great as ever. Rin was on cloud nine. Kazui was paying mind to Glassy but that was okay, he’d get alone time with him soon enough. Glassy briefly disappeared and then reappeared with some interesting news,

“Ocean says some guy is hitting on your boyfriend out there.” She smirked, and he didn’t know why,

“He is not my boyfriend, he’s just some guy I took for a ride down homo street.” Rin ignored the pang of jealously that told him to go out there and take out whatever guy was flirting with Akira. He grabbed a shot of the vodka they were all drinking and felt the burn down his throat. The men cheered for him and Kazui shook the calf of his leg with his hand. It only momentarily distracted from the nagging feelings he was having. He almost felt as though…. no. He shook his head and Kazui looked at him,

“Rin, what is wrong?” He made eye contact with him and he searched for something in them that he didn’t find.

“Oh, I’m fine, it’s just the booze.” I smiled at him and he nodded, his eyes kind. He went back to engaging with his friends. The story they had told Rin about their disappearance was a tale of drugs gone wrong. Rin suspected they highly embellished the story, but he didn’t care. Kazui was back and now he would be able to be happy again.

Rin had to go the bathroom. He made his way to there and when he walked back out he wanted to see this man Akira had found. A stupid urge that he just had to get out of his system. He looked around the club, frustrated. he was about to give up before he noticed Akira in a booth. His eyes were glossy and on his left shoulder was the head of a guy. The man’s eyes were closed but his presence was so unique and undeniable, Rin knew it was Nano from before. What the fuck did Nano want with Akira? Rin didn’t know it, but his face scrunched with displeasure. That was it, it was time to make that asshole suffer. The stripper marched his way over and spoke coolly to Akira,

“Just so you know, your uses to me are over.” Akira looked up, then looked at Nano, gently pushing him off. What the fuck was he doing? “But the way Akira, I lied! Kazui is the name of my actual lover whom I was waiting for to come back! You look just alike, it was like having an excellent knock off but now I’m back to designer!” Rin’s wicked laughter filled the air and Akira made a face of shock. What? What were these past few months for then? He shook it off quickly and stood straight in front of Rin. Despite Akira only being of average height, he still seemed to tower over the blond.

 “Do all the grandstanding you want, Rin. I don’t care, it’s just words. Which coming from you, I know I cannot trust.” He glared, but he was shaking. He felt a hole had just been punched in chest.

“What? Did you think I was in love with you?” Rin laughed, it was extremely forced. His heart was dully throbbing at the mere suggestion that Akira loved him. Akira’s expression dropped. Rin had called his bluff, Akira did love Rin. Very much. “Oh, my fucking god! You really thought this was love?!” the club had turned muted around them. People were looking, there was looks of annoyance and others had sad expressions. Akira looked up, a fury filling his eyes.

“So, what if I do?! Isn’t that what you wanted?!” Akira tone was filled with anguish.

“Yes, so I can watch you suffer!” Rin was suppressing that his heart was beating out of his chest at the sight of the passion in Akira’s eyes. It was the type of passion that could only come from pure heartbreak. Akira suspected Rin was being fake right now but instead chose something that would sting worse than anything else.

“Right now, you remind me of Shiki. Except he’s not a liar.” Rin felt his blood boil and he lunged at Akira. Who grabbed him by the arm and flung him away. His head hit the wood of a table and he yelled out in pain. He down for the count. It hurt so much to see Rin suffering, but he left Akira with no choice.

“You motherfucker!” Akira stood over him and Rin tried to grab at his ankles, but Akira kicked him the gut. Shiki came out and separated them before any more venom could be spat,

“I’ll take care of this little fucking troublemaker, Akira.” He said with an annoyed expression,

“You just let him beat the shit out of me?!” Rin yelled,

“You deserved it.” Shiki huffed, kicking him in the stomach too. He then grabbed the disoriented blond by his leg and dragged him into the locker rooms. He screamed bloody murder as he was dragged away. Akira caught a glimpse of Kazui’s worried stare at Rin. So, it was true…Nano reached out and touched Akira’s hand. He looked at him with sad eyes. He’d felt bad for forgetting that the guy was there,

“I have to go…see you whenever.” He left Nano and went out into the breezy night air. It was going to rain tonight; the smell filled the air. As he walked through the alleyway everything started to hit him for real. Rin had used him. It had been a lie even though he loved the blond. He really did, he didn’t give a fuck that he was stripper, didn’t give about how many men Rin had been with sexually, he didn’t care that they were both guys and yet…. Akira punched the brick wall and screamed. His knuckles became bloody and the pain was a welcomed distraction from how his chest felt. He wasn’t the type to cry, but Rin had made him feel like a fucking idiot. He should have known better, he shouldn’t have fallen for someone so… he leaned against the alleyway. What did Kazui have that he didn’t? He’d been so good to Rin… He breathed out. Rin should be with whoever makes him happy. He looked up into the rain, holding back the urge to cry.

* * *

 

Kazui was there to greet Rin once he came back out of the locker room. He had witnessed the whole confrontation and he couldn’t deny the look he’d seen in Akira’s eyes. Kazui thought the guy was really in love with Rin. He was shocked to see someone who looked so much like himself. Rin held a pack of ice to the back of his head and a bag of stuff in his other hand,

“Suspended for a week with no pay because of that asshole.” Rin spat the words. Kazui didn’t know how to handle this. Rin couldn’t help but softly smile at Kazui, he really was so kind. “Shouldn’t you be with your friends?”

“No, I’m fine, I know where they are.” It wasn’t the answer Rin had wanted, he felt only more disappointed as Kazui continued, “That guy…he loves you.” Kazui said the words awkwardly. He was aware Rin was hitting on him, but Akira’s actual intenseness was startling. Kazui didn’t truly believe he could channel the type of love Akira had displayed for anyone, let alone Rin. He was in awe of the guy. The guy wasn’t the type to fuck ‘n dump, Kazui could tell, he was serious in a way he wasn’t. Rin rolled his eyes and then went back to smiling,

“Yeah, he’ll get over it. We were only dating a few months.” Kazui found it intriguing that Akira had tolerated Rin for that long. Kazui would be lying if he said he had got it with Akira. He did not understand how or why that guy loved the stripper so much. He couldn’t help but think Rin was a bit of an idiot.

“He really does look like me.” Kazui grinned at the thought, trying to rid the tense atmosphere and Rin laughed,

“He definitely has his looked going for him.” Rin winked and took the ice off his head, nudging Kazui with his elbow.

“Though I have to say, he had some traits I wish I did….”

“It’s alright, he’d not the nobleman you think he is.” Rin washed around his thoughts, that was a lie. Akira was a good man. Kazui did not know what to think other than ‘I’m not Akira’. Glassy walked by and as she did with her tits out, Kazui realized he did have plans with a stripper. Just not Rin.


	7. I'm Not Going Anywhere

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rin doesn't deserved to be boyfriend-ed this good.

                                        

 Akira wasn’t angry at Kazui, how could he blame a man he’d never met for this. He was upset with Rin but was trying to not let it get the better of him. He still had a life to live. Plus, he got a feeling that he wouldn’t be able to ignore Keisuke for much longer. Akira wasn’t being fair, Keisuke just wanted to help. He hadn’t told his friend exactly what had happened, but Keisuke wasn’t an idiot, he probably at least sensed went wrong with Rin. Akira sighed, it was time to get off break. He stood, smoothed out his clothing and popped a mint in his mouth. He was trying to do everything thoughtlessly, if he got too inside his own head the memories of Rin battered him. It was painful to think it ended the way it did. Maybe Rin had done him a favor, he’d rather be broken sooner rather than later.

 He walked back into the bar area, it was crowded tonight, thank god. He’d be so busy there would no time to focus on his disappointment. He was being tipped generously and people of both genders hit on him. He could see it happening now that he had experience. Though none of them were of interest. Rin didn’t know that he was Akira’s first. Despite the occurrence, Akira felt no remorse about giving his virginity to Rin. He hadn’t really valued it to begin with, but if it did have any value whatsoever, he was glad he cashed it in for his love. His work went by too fast, like the void of misery was calling him forward.

The walk home felt endless, all the walks had felt endless. He’d never noticed his loneliness before this situation. He was dreading having to go II Re’s Palace tomorrow, he didn’t want to see Rin. He would do his best to see as little as possible. He didn’t feel any certain way about Kazui, but he also didn’t have any desire to watch Rin be loved by someone else either. It would hurt too much to see. His apartment felt extra empty and his phone hadn’t been charged in 4 days. He was shutting everything and everyone out. The other day he found a blond hair inside his jacket and it made his chest hurt. He was angry because Rin didn’t care if he did this to him. He felt empty and Rin was off having the time of his life. He went downstairs and worked out. When Akira came back up to his apartment he glanced himself in his bathroom mirror and noticed the circles under his eyes are darker. Akira was restless, full of anguish. He climbed in the shower and stared at his naked form. He had scars on himself. Another imperfection put on blast by heartbreak. He got out and started drying himself.

* * *

 

His actions were mindless. The shower, the dressing, the eating…He was disconnected from reality. His life was like a fog. He laid in the bed. It still smelled of Rin, he needed to clean the sheets. Akira had had many dreams about Rin, various types of romance. He always woke up wishing he hadn’t. Never had he felt this way about anyone. Akira didn’t know he could miss someone so much. The thing that bothered him the most is the fact that that day, Rin’s words had been cruel, but his eyes had told a different story. When he gazed into those two sapphires that belonged to the boy he loved, he had seen something that was not hate. He couldn’t put his finger on what he had seen in them…

 This wasn’t going quite as Rin had imagined, though he confessed he was being a bit idealistic. Kazui did let him in his apartment, but when he tried to make a move he was brushed off. Kazui had been ignoring Rin’s calls too. He was pissed off, nobody ignored him, well by nobody he meant Akira. Kazui wasn’t here but he still here with his friends, the bong was passed to him and he took a hit. Some of the guys were commenting on how ‘dope’ it was that he got a male stripper to hang out with them. They were idiots, it wasn’t that much of a novelty. The weed was shit, reeking of filler and Rin only was left only with mostly sober disappointment. Doing that to Akira hadn’t made Rin feel the way he thought it would. It had left him with bad feelings. Kazui’s bounced back calls only made breaking Akira’s spell harder.

 He stood up and went back out to dance. He was trying to be as careless as possible about the whole ordeal. Yet, on that pole he found his eyes wandering. It was a Sunday and he was looking for Akira for some reason. Why did he care whether or not he showed up? Even if Akira had arrived he’d made sure Rin didn’t see him. He noticed some customers getting annoyed at his lack of eye contact. He put on his best face. With his bright smile he used his eyes and ass to force the misery back into every degenerate fuck in the club tonight. His shoes glimmered in the light and he suddenly forgot all about Akira. A guy tried to grab his balls and on his next twirl around the pole he landed his platform heel right in the guy’s face, knocking him out cold.  The other customers just laughed at his expense. What Rin didn’t know was the reason he didn’t see Akira was because he was being chatted up by Kazui.

Kazui had by chance seen Akira walk in and decided to make conversation with him. He had to admit, he was interesting. Akira seemed normal, but deep down Kazui knew he wasn’t. Kazui almost wanted Akira to be his teacher in life. When the guy spoke he truly saw everyone equal.

“Cut to the chase.” Akira snapped at Kazui,

“Ah not a man of fluffy talk. I get it.” Kazui grinned at him. Akira sighed and looked around for his payer anxiously. He wanted to leave as soon has possible. “I wanted to ask about Rin.”

“Why do you care? You got what you wanted.” Akira found Kazui’s moodiness when it came to Rin annoying. It was like the guy couldn’t really commit to anything and was now begging Akira like he was a priest for answers. Kazui didn’t know how to put into words the exact thoughts he was having. There were a few moments of uncomfortable silence before Kazui spoke,

“You know when I first met Rin it was under pressure from my gang to entertain him because he was crazy.” Kazui leaned back and Akira’s glower at him was intensive, “This part you aren’t going to want to hear but I get the feeling your anger isn’t for me, so I’ll do it anyways. A few days after I met Rin I let him blow me in the back of the group van, way outside of town, under the stars. I remember they were all asleep and that look he gave me afterwards…I couldn’t return it, Akira.” What was he saying? Why was he telling Akira this deeply personal story about Rin? “It was a mistake to let him do that to me, but the bigger mistake was yet to come. I fucked him, doggystyle and I had to pretend he was a girl to get off.” Akira stood up, he didn’t want to hear this guy’s sex regrets about Rin. That’s when Kazui grabbed Akira and said, “Akira, please, this is important. I promise I think you’re a good guy and I wouldn’t make you sit through this just because.” Akira’s glare met somehow genuine sorrow in Kazui’s eyes. He, with stiffness, sat back down. “He loved me after that…but I don’t know. With you two… I saw it in both your eyes. You don’t have to believe me, but he is yours, you just don’t know it yet.” Akira felt his stomach turn and he got the fuck out of the booth. He propelled his legs as fast as possible away from Kazui, who probably was insane based on that tirade. Whatever game he and Rin were playing, Akira wanted no part, he was no one’s pawn.

 His payer came, and he took the cash quickly. He then shuffled angrily out of the club, he wanted to get back home as soon as possible. What the fuck was Kazui’s issue? ‘ _He’s yours, you just don’t know it yet.’_ Kazui had said it so ominously. But Akira didn’t want to consider the possible implications. The more he rolled it around, the more the ball of thought became spiked. He felt his heart beat fast with anxiety. What did Kazui have in store for Rin... But who cares? Rin had had no hesitance when he stepped on Akira. Still, Akira was feel protective over the stripper. Sure, they hadn’t been fucking married, but he had felt himself falling hard for the guy. He came to conclusion he was being dramatic. What was said and done, is said and done. He was still borderline obsessed with the stripper, he felt like one of those characters in a bad ‘adult’ romance book.

 He came to the conclusion that once he got home that he needed Keisuke’s help. Well Keisuke couldn’t help directly, but his presence would be a welcomed one. He needed a gentle soul. He always made Akira feel better. He arrived home and plugged in his phone, watching it faintly glow blue as it charged. Akira was being tentative, he was worried that Keisuke was angry. He wasn’t Rin, so he’d treat his friend with the respect and kindness he deserved. When the phone was at 40 percent he unplugged it and hit the callback button. The phone buzzed and buzzed, until there was a surprised noise from the brunette on the other line.

“Hello?” Akira spoke softly,

“Akira! I’ve been so worried!” Keisuke was just as excitable as Akira had imagined,

“I’m fine…hey, when you have some time will you come over?” He was still having anxiety for some reason.

“Yes, my shift is over in 10 minutes.” A mutual sigh and a clicking of ‘end call’ button followed. He waited with baited breath for Keisuke, he hadn’t seen the guy in nearly two weeks. When he came he nearly bolted in Akira’s apartment, not wanting to give his heartbroken friend a chance to change his mind. There was a pause, a look of weirdness, Keisuke was on the one who broke it. He leaned forward and pulled Akira in a gentle embrace, Keisuke didn’t say the words, but Akira knew what the hug was for. He embraced him back, “You don’t have to give me the details.” Even with Keisuke’s ever so slight aversion to homosexual couplings, he wanted to be there for Akira. He would do anything or be anything to be the one Akira asked when something went horribly wrong. Such was his nature. They sat on the couch and Akira leaned his forehead against Keisuke’s. He didn’t want to tell Keisuke the whole story, but he could say a few things that would paint a decent picture for him. He owed him clarification to a degree. Akira wasn’t a guy who liked to talk about feelings, so he struggled for words,

“He’s grown bored of me.” That wasn’t completely accurate but seemed close.

“Why? You’re interesting.” Keisuke’s eyes were sympathetic.

“I do not know how to explain it but…. he wants someone who lives life in the fast lane and I don’t.” Sure, Akira wasn’t exactly ‘tame’ in his choices, but his life was at least semi-structured, and his mind was together most of time.

“But you fight as a second job and have all types of crazy rich person stories from that bar you work at it. If that isn’t exciting enough for Rin, then I don’t know of anything that could satisfy him.” Akira almost flinched at the mentioning of Rin’s name. He knew Keisuke was just being himself, the guy adored Akira even he was in full idiot mode. That was the nice thing about him, Akira could basically do nothing that would keep Keisuke away for longer than a few weeks. He leaned back into the couch, his chest pulsed dully,

“Whatever it is he craves, I can’t give him. I don’t like to beg for people, that never ends well. So, I won’t be chasing after him.” Akira said bluntly, Keisuke nodded assertively in agreement,

“You shouldn’t have to convince anyone of your worth! Anybody who is worthy of you will see your value without you even speaking!” Keisuke made an upset face. Akira made a slight and cynical smile. 

“It’s alright, Keisuke, I will survive.” He touched his shoulder and Keisuke smiled so soft it took Akira by surprise,

“I just want you to be okay.” Keisuke’s tone was gentle.

“I will be, eventually.” There was a comfortable silence and Akira was glad he brought his friend over. He was passive, almost to the point of being obnoxious sometimes, but right now that is exactly what he required.

* * *

 

 Rin had a vivid dream. He dreamed he was the wife of Kazui, who was a monarch. He wore beautiful dresses, had well-groomed hair and lived in a lavish mid-century palace.  The palace was made of stones and in the dream, he traveled down the ornate staircase, bumping into the butler. The butler was Akira. He dreamed Kazui was being neglectful and showing interest in one of the maidens who slept in the garden homes. She had white-blond hair and a large bust. His husband started to be gone more and more. He began an affair with Akira, who was more into him than his own husband. The next thing he knew, he saw Kazui doing the maiden from his bedroom window. So, he turned to Akira and… Rin woke up. He was sweating and gotten half hard from dreaming about having sex with Akira. He shouldn’t have been so surprised, he had had sex with the guy multiple times. He laid there for a moment. Akira…he was being assaulted by thoughts of him.

He flung off his black and red bed sheets, losing his clothes in the process. He walked in and turned on the shower. He brushed his teeth while the room steamed up. Rin had plans with Kazui today and then work later. He stepped into the shower and the water burned before it felt good. Akira’s metaphorical ghost was still rattling him. Even as he cleaned himself he was observing that his tub was so round and big that he could fuck in it. He’d been having bigger problems. The other day he’d accidently called Kazui ‘Akira’ and the guy didn’t even bat an eye at it. It was like he didn’t care. He glared at his feet as all these thoughts run a race in his mind. Okay, he admitted being idealistic, but something was just fucking wrong about this.

“Maybe I should just ignore it until I get over it.” He said aloud, his voice echoing throughout the room and mingling with the steam. He just stood there for a few minutes, letting the heat sear his lungs, before climbing out and dressing himself. He didn’t have time for this nonsense. He blow-dried his hair and ran a comb coated with gel tamer through it. He didn’t use hair spray, it made his hair unnatural, unpleasant to the touch and hard-looking. These clothes weren’t the sexiness of his stripper outfits, but they made him look decent. Why was he even going on about his appearance so much? It’s not like it should truly matter if love was in the air. He had to suppress the nagging voice that told him that he was going out with the wrong person.

The walk to the café felt like he was carving out his way from an ice cave. Rin didn’t feel any excitement, just ‘get it over with’. That was weird, he never remembered feeling this way around or about interactions with Kazui. The overcast day, the dragging cold that made his chest heavy and the thought that he wanted Akira’s jacket. That thing had been so warm…he let the thought pass without fighting it. He sat outside and watched people pass as he waited for Kazui. He was clenching his cup of black coffee tight; his jacket sleeves were absorbing the warmth. He stared into the mug until it was empty. The ripples from the cars passing noisily that made the liquid swish were his only companion. Reality was seeping in like black tar. Kazui wasn’t coming. He didn’t care.

 Rin leaned back and rubbed his forehead. He had told himself had been bored of Akira, he’d brought Akira to the breaking point…and for what? For this? Is this what he believed exciting and worthwhile living was? Being stood up? Being borderline sexually assaulted at his job by a drunk middle-aged man? Watching people regularly being beaten up over exes or 3-ways gone horribly wrong?  He chuckled bitterly to himself. This ‘love’ he had of Kazui, it was such a fucking joke. The guy had left him over a year ago off to god knows where, doing whatever the fuck he wanted. He only had sex with Rin when pressured. Even when Rin got his way, he had to face away and deal with not being touched back.  It wasn’t love making, if he wanted to get fucked like a worthless doll, he’d lower his selling point at the club. Kazui stares at women even with Rin trying to get his attention, he’d been given more mind by motherfucking _Nano_ for crying out loud.

 He’d left Akira who didn’t run away when the shit got tough, he left Akira who made dinner and let him wear his jacket. He’d left Akira who kissed him in the streets without even a blink. He left Akira who held hands with him in public and waited for him when he was being dysfunctional. Rin left Akira who, even while being crushed, still had eyes full of love for him. Akira wasn’t perfect by any stretch of the imagination, but holy shit Rin had never known such endless patience. Such immense love. He stood up and left some yen for the waitress to find. He had to work in about an hour. He was going to have to deal with this, he just didn’t know how yet.

* * *

 

 Kazui was here but Rin didn’t see him, but he had seen Akira enter. He hadn’t even looked up to see Rin’s dancing. It hurt but he knew he deserved it. You don’t just break someone’s heart like that and expect them to pay attention. His break was soon, the lights shut off his stage. He stuffed all his money into his velvet bag and carried it back to his locker. He was only half done with night and already feeling fatigued. When he passed by the full-length mirror he noticed his rips were protruding and his skin was lacking its usual glow. The lack of appetite from all this stress was getting to him. When he walked back out onto the floor, he stared at Akira from afar, who did not look back. He was still looking fine. Was he doing great without Rin? Oh, that man could take anything. Rin’s heart faltered a bit when Akira’s head turned to talk to his payer and he got a good look at his face. He had to go see Kazui, he had to fucking get it all straight. No more of these games. He walked down the hall of VIP rooms and when he opened the door he saw…

Kazui ramming Glassy so hard the table was shaking, she was face up.

He didn’t have time to think as all the emotions hit him like a tsunami. He just closed his eyes and his face wrinkled up in pain. It was odd, he didn’t even feel violent. Kazui wasn’t worth fighting for. He came back down and looked at both them. God they had the most idiotic look on their faces,

“I don’t even fucking care. I came in here to tell you that you aren’t wanted here anymore anyways.” Rin’s following laugh was so icy and empty it made Glassy look away in fear.

“That’s not for you to decide.” Kazui glared.

 “Shut the fuck up! I fucking run this joint, not you!” Rin yelled. “Kazui, you’re real piece of shit. Glassy, you’re a raging fucking dumbass who will never aspire to anything. You can fucking have each other. I was willingly blind before, but I see now.” He felt tears coming down his face, “Go back to getting herpes from Glassy. Yeah, I read your medical report you dumb whore, you’re a fucking petri dish of STDS.” He pushed the door open, before saying more thing. Not bothering to turn to them, “By the way, Kazui, your dick is small. Akira is fucking huge, like 8 or 9 inches! Fitting, small dick for a walking pussy!” Rin’s voice broke and he made the door swing wildly as he ran away, through the club. Feeling the tear falling like a water foundation,

“Rin!!!” Akira had noticed and called out his name, going to run after the blond. He was stopped by Nano, who had come out of nowhere. He grabbed his wrist, Akira tried to fight him, but his grip was like iron. He watched Rin run right out of the club. He turned to Nano who was giving him a sad stare, “Why did you stop me?!”

“He needs to be alone….” Nano spoke quietly and mildly, only Akira heard it.

“Why?” Akira looked him in the eyes and felt himself calming down,

“Words are not necessary…” Akira understood Nano and wasn’t mad at the strange man anymore. Not that he’d ever had anything against him. He really did seem like someone who was good, but just a bit weird. He had chosen Akira for his oddity display and Akira didn’t pretend even remotely understood him. Nano let go and Akira decided to say something meaningful back to him for once,

“You’re a good person, Nano. I hope one day you are able to leave this hell pit, you don’t belong here.” He saw what appeared to be a smile, but it was like vapor. Gone before he even had a chance to see it. He turned away from Nano and walked out to stand by the door. Akira wasn’t going after Rin. Nano was right, there were no words he could say to the blond that would be useful to him. He just needed to let Rin stew in his own creation. Akira wasn’t expecting much from Rin at this point. What he did have in mind was about to be borderline lethal. He had made a silent promise to Rin that he’d make anyone who made him feel like that pay. It was time for Kazui to pay. Akira wasn’t planning to do it in the hopes of winning Rin back. He wanted to do it because, no matter what malice had been exchanged, Rin needed to know someone cared about him. Akira didn’t need romance to be good to Rin.

When Kazui came walking out, Akira confronted him,

“Just who the fuck does you think you are?!”

“Oh, Jesus Christ I’ve made lover boy angry.” Kazui smirked and held himself arrogantly, it pissed off Akira to no avail. He clenched his fists, he was beginning to lose his cool, “Holy shit, you’re really hung up on that stripper?! You realize they are just glorified whores, right?! Rin has fucked so many guys, probably behind your back too!!” That was it, Akira punched him right in the face. His jaw making an audible cracking sound,

“Don’t fucking call him a whore!” Kazui attempted to swing back but Akira caught his wrist and twisted his arm back as far as possible A disgusting popping sound that bounced off the bricks of the alley walls followed. He made a swing at Akira’s face but it landed on his chest and Akira jammed his knee right up in between his ribs. Knocking Kazui to the ground where Akira straddled him and beat until he got a black eye and snapped collarbone; whose jagged edge sent blood in Akira’s face when it tore out of Kazui’s flesh. When he got up, he wiped his face and Kazui passed out from the pain he was in. Akira breathed out in sweet bloodlust, his own ego shining through with his next words, “I’m the best fucking fighter in this district, don’t fuck with people I care about.” Akira kicked his over, so his face was in the filthy, wet asphalt and walked away. His buddies and whoever he was fucking could find their leader totally beaten fucking senseless. He didn’t need to call in Shiki. They would know to never come here again.


	8. Love's Number

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They get back together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This fic is almost at the end!

                                   

  One thing was clear to Rin ever since that night. He wanted Akira back. He didn’t how he was going to do it, but he did want to try. He’d masturbated several times just thinking about the guy. When he learned Kazui had been beaten up he knew it was Akira who did it. The calling card of Akira was either smacking you during a wake-up call or beating the fuck out of someone who hurt someone he cared about. Rin’s heart was aching for Akira. He wasn’t going to approach him in the club, no, Akira deserved better. Rin sank into his black couch, the little white lights strung along the walls being the only illumination within the room. He thought of Akira as the rain gently drizzled down, creating a relaxing pitter-patter. He had already cried so many times in self-loathing. He was an idiot for letting that man get away from him. Right now, in this atmospheric room, he was imagining Akira’s hands and his lovely silver hair framing that stunning face. Rin was clutching his phone, afraid to call. He let out a deep breath and dialed in Akira’s number. He’d memorized it before. ‘True love’s number’ that’s what he called it. The phone rang, and he didn’t pick up, he tried again. No answer. His eyes started to pool, what was he expecting? That Akira would even bother with him after he broke his heart?  

 Rin rolled over and sighed into the cushions. He tried yet again and still no answer. He felt a few tears fall. He glanced over at the clock, it was only 8. Maybe Akira was awake still because he likely had just gotten home from the day shift. Rin, having a moment of insanity, got off the couch. He got dressed, including a hooded jacket and ventured out into the rain. He was shaking already from the cold. He was constantly clearing his face of water as he jotted through the rain. While traveling up the stairs, he went too fast and slipped. His cheek hit the corner of the metal steps while his knees and hands took the brute of the force to catch his fall. He just posed there for a moment, breathing and dealing with the tingling pain that was everywhere as the rain soaked him. Then, he just collapsed, his limbs hanging through the gaps in the steps. Rin decided to give up, this was the universe’s way of telling him he wasn’t wanted by Akira. He would have to deal with being alone and knowing it was because he’d treated the one he loved like shit.

What Rin didn’t know was that Akira was walking home from work. He had just gotten off his shift and was moody because of Keisuke making comments about some ‘cute’ receptionist who started working at the place he did. Akira didn’t want to hear or imagine his friend being sexually attracted to anyone. It was too weird. What Akira wasn’t expecting to see was a hooded figure who appeared to be dead on the stairs leading to the second floor of his apartment building. That was weird, murders usually didn’t happen in front of residencies. He took a deep breath and approached the figure, it was breathing, so whoever it was, they were alive. He stepped over the person and to his shock the person moved to look at him,

“Rin?!” Akira was alarmed, and the blond just put his head back down on the steps. He was conflicted, this person had hurt him so badly and yet right now he wanted to help him. Akira tried to turn away, but he couldn’t. He felt too guilty, ‘ _If I leave him here to rot, I’m no different than those pigs at the strip club.’_  Rin squeaked in surprise as Akira lifted him up and carried him into his apartment; where he was gently set on the burnt orange couch he didn’t know he missed so much. Rin’s eyes were half lidded and Akira took off his wet jacket,

“Why did you take me in?” Rin whispered,

“You know damn fucking well I wouldn’t just leave you out there.” Akira’s tone was very cold, but Rin still found comfort in it. 

“I tried to call you.”

“I know.” That hurt, so Akira was ignoring him. Akira had received all of the calls and ignored them.

“That hurts, so cold of you, Akira.” Akira glared down at Rin,

  
“It was cold when you told me I wasn’t good enough, when you told me I was boring.” Akira was agitated, and Rin could see he was rustling with himself. His love had every right to still be pissed. Though Rin couldn’t deny he felt his messages were a bit mixed. But Akira was someone who truly would love until there was nothing left to give. Rin spoke again,

“I love you, you know.” Rin confessed, he was begging. Akira was taken aback for a moment before he rolled his eyes,

“Save it for the men at work, Rin.” Rin turned his head away from Akira and started to cry hard. Nothing truly without a price, he almost wished Akira had just left him out there. “I should tell you, this is only for a few hours, then you are going back home.”

“Why? Too tempting?” Rin forced a smirk and it was obvious. Akira stood to turn on the heat,

“It’s not me who is too tempted, it’s _you_. I know you are heartbroken over that asshole again, I’m not a rebound. You can’t use me. What happens? I take you back and suddenly you find your next fantasy man to chase, leaving me to pick up the pieces?” Rin had to soak in what he had made Akira think. The guy had sadness and hurt in his eyes which he was trying to mask by using that razor-sharp tone. Rin concluded he should just enjoy this while it lasted. He inhaled Akira’s scent in the couch. He also decided to say whatever the fuck he wanted because clearly Akira was in full defense mode.

“I missed you so much, Akira.” His words were muffled in the couch, but Akira wasn’t listening anyways, he was making himself food. “Akira, you’re so beautiful even when you don’t want me.” Rin felt his eyes beginning to water as the smell of Akira’s cooking clouded his mind, he knew it would be time for him to go soon. He didn’t want to make Akira hate him even more, he stood and wiggled his way into his semi-dry jacket. Akira watched him slowly shuffle out. He dare not mention the aching in his chest. As the door closed, he turned to the counter and braced himself against it. He had to be strong, this was all intentional by Rin, he was playing with Akira’s heart.

 Rin started to weep once more the moment he left Akira’s apartment, he was careful down the steps and then he ran home.  He got home, tore his clothes off and crawled in bed where he just cried. He’d been so close to Akira and it hadn’t been enough to get the older male to be enchanted again. He loved Akira so much, his heart told him to try again. But Rin just went to sleep, he was exhausted.

* * *

 

 The whole week after the incident with Rin was bothering Akira. He felt his armor falling apart in pieces whenever he thought of it, thus he tried not to. Rin had looked so genuine in his plea of love. Rin really did love Akira so much. Tonight, there was a fortune teller sitting at the middle table of the club. Rin was watching himself in the reflection of her crystal ball as she told strippers of their supposed times of death and the men whom they would marry. Akira was supposed to be here tonight, if Rin didn’t take this chance he would never do it or, so he thought. He walked off stage and decided an extra-long break wouldn’t be noticed by Shiki. He dreaded walking past the fortune teller, he didn’t believe in that shit and knew all their tricks. You truly meet every type of character in a strip club.  

 As he walked past her, she tried to sell herself with the rattling of beads and the clanging of fake gold earrings. He took confident steps that were his silent way of telling her to shove it.  She was a scam artist of the highest order. Rin looked around for Akira and found him nowhere. He was frustrated and then he heard the fortune teller chime in,

“He’s with Shiki.” He did a spin and faced the smirking fortune teller,

“No, he’s not.” I rolled my eyes, I looked at the time. I had jumped the gun, he was supposed to be here in 10 minutes. Fuck it.

“Oh, but I didn’t say here, did I?” She was so cocky,

“Shut up, who even let you in here?” Rin glared at her,

“Man of deep psychopathy and desire.” Oh, so Arbitro, because of course this was his stupid as shit idea.   
“Great, so happy that dumbass let you leech off the bunch of innocent, desperate people in here.” She merely laughed at Rin,

“Oh, non-believer, how did I know it was a man you were seeking?”

“Because only someone who was both blind and deaf couldn’t see that I’m gay.” Rin spit back. He was now engaging with this hack to pass the time until Akira would arrive. He turned to her and she started rubbing her crystal ball.

“Ah yes I see you are in love, but you made a mistake.”

“Shut up, maybe if you rubbed some cocks the way you rub that ball you’d actually have a place to live.” The woman wasn’t attractive enough to make any money as a stripper, but anybody could hook. All it required was a hole and someone willing to pay. She went on with her shrilling,

“Oh, I see I have hit a nerve!”  her forced excitement made Rin gag. “Oh dear, don’t be like that.” She let her words drag in annoying way and Rin almost fucking broke his neck turning his head when he heard the door open. In Akira came, it was like in a cheap movie for Rin. His walk, the way he held himself…Rin felt unabashed affection for him for a moment. It all came crashing down when he power-walked right past Rin like he wasn’t even there. Rin thought of reaching out to grab him but didn’t have the balls to. Arbitro then made a scene by telling Rin his break was over and Rin picked a pole where Akira was in eye shot.  Rin seemed concentrated on his dancing but that was just because he was focused on the game plan as to how he was going to get Akira back.

 When it was over, and he had collected his money, he looked around to find Akira was gone. He was cowardly underneath it all, truly. He sighed and went back to change into his street clothes. He looked for Akira on the streets and listened to jeering from the streets about his sexuality. He took it all in falsified stride. Akira must have gone back home, he was predictable in that way. Rin had written down all things he loved about Akira on a piece of paper. His predictability was one of the things he decided he actually loved. This was because it wasn’t the type of predictable that made Akira boring, it was the type of predictable that made Rin feel safe. It wasn’t like liking only plain butter on toast and never different types of jam; it was like always knowing they would have their first meals of the day together. Rin unlocked his apartment door and tossed his bag to the side. It was late as all hell, almost 3:20 AM, but if he couldn’t get a phone call, his first move tomorrow would be to Akira’s door. Rin dialed in the number and slumped into the couch. No answer, because of course there wasn’t.

* * *

 

 Rin almost fucking left tire tracks with his shoes doing his morning ritual and leaving to go confront Akira. This was the time, he would let this man know his true feelings been known and why he loved him so much. But the apology was the most important part, he wanted to borderline grovel. It was so pathetic but Rin at the point of ‘anything for Akira’. The time for games was over. This whole incident with Kazui was Rin’s wake up call. The life he was living was unhappy and Akira had been one of the few things that made him happy. Rin wore his usual street clothes and walked right up to Akira’s apartment door. This was not a particularly confident walk, he had a fast heartbeat and had left a mark on his palm from gripping the rails of the staircase too tightly. If he was to be rejected this time, he would officially give up and accept his fate. He took in a deep breath and knocked on Akira’s door.

“Go away.” Akira said muffled by the barrier of the door. Rin knocked again, “Go away I didn’t invite anyone.” Rin knocked even harder and there was a pause as the door opened. The moment they made eye contact Akira started to close the door, but Rin stopped it with his foot. Akira groaned, “What do you want?”

“Your time.” Rin was clenching his fists once more, his nails digging into his palms.

“For what?” Akira’s tone was just as cold as before,

“To try to win you back.” Akira looked befuddled and irritated,

“You don’t want me back, you’re just lonely because of that asshole. I’m not someone who lets people step all over me, Rin. The message was pretty fucking clear. I’m too boring for your fantasies and you don’t want me dragging down your ideal lifestyle.” Akira said it all so collected, he’d obviously been thinking about deeply. It effected Rin, this man really could take ‘no’ for an answer.  He had called Akira boring, but that was wrong. Akira wasn’t tedious, he was stable and beautiful for being true.

 “Will you please listen just this once? If your answer is still ‘no’ after, I will never bother you again, alright?” Rin’s eyes pleaded, and the expression soften Akira’s cold front,

“Okay, deal.”

“Akira, I am so sorry. What I did was horrible and wrong, I am a total idiot. I didn’t come to this realization the night Kazui had sex with Glassy. I had already come to this conclusion when he ghosted me on the coffee date were supposed to have that afternoon. It was weeks of buildup and being tormented by my bad choices until I finally broke. I couldn’t stop thinking about how good you were to me. You see Akira, I did not love Kazui and never could have. I was looking for you in him after he came back. I even called him by your name once. I got angry when he would do something unfeeling, and I would say ‘you never used to do that’. Well, I said that because I was projecting you onto him. While I was waiting for him I fell in love with you the way I never did for him. I can’t tell you how stupid I have been. I’m not here to ask for pity sex or whatever. This decision isn’t impulsive, but leaving you was and I deeply regret it. It wasn’t worth it and if you decide to take me back I will earn your trust back. I will never do something so fucking moronic again.” Rin let go and his chest started to heave. His eyes were pooling again, fuck, would the crybaby within him ever let go? Akira watched, and Rin didn’t notice him becoming more relaxed. He really did love Rin and right now he seemed genuine. That word: love, Akira was unfamiliar. He’d never been in romantic love before now but was sure he loved Rin nonetheless. “I really want to be with you.” Rin besought further. Rin’s expression and cute face really melted Akira away.  There was pregnant pause between them before Akira finally spoke with a very forgiving tone,

“Okay but it won’t be fast like before…” Rin put his hands together for a god he didn’t believe in as relief washed over his face. Akira was skeptic, but his heart was becoming soft clay before the blonde. Rin watched as Akira’s eyes softened and his shoulders relaxed, Rin resisted the urge to fling himself at him.

“But what does it mean?” Rin wanted to make sure their terms were very clear,

“I guess it means…we’re dating again but this time we are going to move slower than last time. No sex for a bit and no staying in my place for a while.”  Rin nodded,

“What can I do for you then?” Rin questioned, he wanted Akira’s touch. It didn’t have to be sexual, a kiss or hug would have been more than enough. There was ineptness. Akira understood that Rin’s duality was something he struggled with. He could both be a sex toy and yet feel bonded to a lover after sex. Rin’s ability to turn it off and on was something Akira couldn’t understand. He was sure it was the only way a stripper in his position could be. He felt sad that Rin thought this way but understood this necessity for the complete divide in his personality. Rin did have two personalities and Akira loved them both. He couldn’t be with the Rin that was sweet, affectionate and extroverted without being with the Rin that was darkly insane from years of psychological torment from his brother and clients. So, before he spoke he was careful with his words, he made sure he understood the gravity of the situation before making up his mind,

“The only thing you can do is give me time and space. You may still refer to me as your boyfriend though.” Akira had come to love the title, he’d been so hesitant before with it, but now he loved it. It was like a badge of honor, if the right person was calling him it.

 “Can you please give a sign I haven’t forced this out of you because you pity me?” Akira wasn’t smacked in the face by the question like he would have been in the past. He thought for a moment before wrapping his arms around the blond and kissing him on the forehead. Rin nearly liquefied when Akira did that, it felt so nice and loving. He had wanting this for weeks now. He didn’t realize how much he had genuinely missed Akira until they were back in each other’s arms. He was madly in love and finally allowed to be.

* * *

 

 Akira’s hesitance didn’t mean Rin had to feel with restrictions. The first few weeks were the hardest, Rin had felt like a child again. He never confessed out loud that Akira was his true first love. Sure, he had ‘loved’ men before Akira, but those seemed like fleeting infatuations compared to his affections for Akira. The reason for it being more powerful than the others was his ability to actual express love to his boyfriend. There were no bars, no limitations of just how much he could give. It made Rin feel like a ‘real boy’. Akira never asked him to do anything that would disguise Rin being another guy. Akira had told him that he didn’t care about the sexuality part; generously telling Rin it was a ‘waste of time’ to continue to entertain these thoughts. Rin opted to just try to be happy.  After all, there was no more Kazui and no more nonsense between himself and the one he loved. Sure, there was Shiki, but Shiki had little to do with his romantic involvement and for once his distance was welcomed.  

 The first week Rin was back with Akira was the most awkward, though as the months went by things got easier and easier. There were odd requests for kisses and hand holding. Rin was glad Akira’s restrictions were not a ‘no affection’ policy. Rin still asked though, he wanted to show Akira that he could be trusted and understood boundaries. When he actually sat down to think about it, Akira was right, he had tried to move way too fast. In order to assurance for both of them that this was going to a long-term thing there had to be some genuine tests of tolerance. Rin could think Akira was so handsome that he wanted to just lay around naked and be fucked by Akira whenever Akira pleased until the dawn reminded them of reality as much as he wanted. It wasn’t enough, and he had to learn that the hard way.   

 Rin descended off the pole the moment Akira walked in and sat down, he instantly started to climb all over him. Rin had found himself comfortable sitting on Akira’s lap, his ass on Akira’s left thigh and his legs draped over the right. Akira held him by his waist and nuzzled Rin’s neck.

“Well somebody is happy to see me! ~” Rin kissed Akira on the cheek.

“Yeah why wouldn’t I be?” Akira’s face was always so unmoving, but his eyes spoke the language of affection. Rin was smiling though. He was feeling genuinely happy for once in life. He wanted to ask Akira something but was incredibly abashed for once in his life. Akira was special, nobody else made him feel that way, like a prince. He really was a different person around his boyfriend. Even though Rin knew he smelled like a cocktail of man-musk, sweat and cheap colognes, Akira was still here being cuddly. Akira felt joy whenever he saw Rin and didn’t give a fuck what was going on. A natural extreme introvert made Rin feel balanced. When his payer came he made a joke about making good with a ‘crazy bitch stripper’.

“No, he’s my boyfriend.” Akira said it so dryly that it made Rin’s chest feel warm. The moment the payer walked away Rin kissed Akira on the lips. He thought that if he were a cat he might be purring right now. He couldn’t stop staring at Akira’s face, he truly believed this man could be the love of his life. Rin looked up at the time and dismissed himself from Akira.  He decided his question could wait, he had thought of a better way to ask.

* * *

 

 Akira had agreed to come over to Rin’s apartment. Rin had a plan to get Akira in the mood to have sex. They had been back on for nearly 4 months and he was starting to feel blue-balled. He was setting up red candles, unscented. Scented candles distracted him too much. Rin then brought out the things he had gotten this week from work. There was a guy who was in a BDSM relationship with one of the strippers. They got into a fight about something and he loudly proclaimed her to be an ingenuine ‘sub’ who never wanted to ‘play’ with him anymore. He then tossed her things at her, loudly declaring she lied on the agreement they had and ran away in an emotional fit. Then she grabbed the small bag he had tossed at her and asked Rin if he was kinky. Rin had said yes not really understanding what was happening and she shoved the bag at him. When he looked inside he nearly pissed himself. In there was a pink ball gag, an aesthetic harness, a black satin blindfold, a pair of handcuffs, a collar with a detachable leash and a wooden paddle. She had laughed at Rin saying it was just basic kink stuff and she had been meaning to buy new ‘play’ things anyways as watershed to finally rid herself of her former ‘Dom’. He was free to have it, though she said should consider sanitizing most of it; because even though she never got anything but tears or sweat on it, who knows what that ‘crazy fuck’ did with it. Rin had boiled everything in soapy water and left to dry. He thought it look interesting, but he wasn’t sure. He opted to let Akira decide. He laid out the blindfold, the handcuffs and the leash on his bedside table. They looked simple to use, but he didn’t know. Rin decided that he should have probably ask the dancer who gave him the stuff to show him how to use it.

 Akira would be here soon, Rin went out to unlock the front door and back into his bedroom. He shut off the lights, got completely naked and posed in a teasing matter with the sheet covering his loins. He waited until he heard the knock and invited Akira in. Akira called out and when he discovered Rin’s disposition he was taken aback. He had to take it all in for a moment, including observing the blindfold and handcuffs on the table. The leash was what finally broke him, Akira cupped his face as he felt laughter coming on. He had to turn and almost run out of the room, so he could laugh in the living room. There was no fucking way he was putting a leash on Rin. The overall scene hadn’t been sexy it had been funny. Akira wasn’t a man of cheesy romantic sex and what Rin definitely had going on there was cheesy as it gets. Akira wondered where did Rin even get a fucking leash like that? It had been nice looking, he was sure it wasn’t cheap. Rin felt his face drop and he didn’t think Akira’s rejection would be so callous. He threw a brief and silent fit by punching his bed. It then turned to sadness, he couldn’t fucking handle this, the rejection was too heartbreaking. He stormed out with a teary-eyed face, his sheet dragging behind him,

“So, you did only fucking take me back because you pitied me! You’re an asshole!” Rin yelled, and Akira turned with eyes wide. Oh fuck, he shouldn’t have laughed.

“Rin no! I’m sorry I shouldn’t have done that…” He approached Rin calmly and gently,   
“No that is your first response to the idea of having sex with me! It’s hilarious! Thank you, get out, I’m done being your little phase!” Akira sighed and looked sad, he felt really bad. He’d fucked up,

“Rin, I wasn’t laughing at the idea of having sex with you…I was laughing at that leash. You looked appealing, it was that leash.  I mean, where did you even get that thing?” Akira looked Rin in the eyes, reaching out to touch him. Rin looked stunned but accepted Akira’s response.

“R-really?” Rin stuttered feeling embarrassed and complimented. He had a major over reaction. Akira put his arms around Rin,

“Of course.”

“I’m sorry, Akira, I should know better…” Rin listened to Akira’s breathing and tried to calm himself.

“I forgive you, please try to work on that. It’s not good for you to be panicking like that.” Akira kissed Rin on the forehead. “You know if you wanted me you could have just asked.”

“I could have?” Rin was surprised,

“Yes, the worst I can say is no, right?” Rin nodded in agreement and there was a silence. Now the shift had turned to Akira, the real question Rin had didn’t need to be said aloud for Akira to answer. He did so by grabbing Rin’s free hand and guiding him back the bedroom. Akira first shoved the amateur BDSM stuff under the bed because it wasn’t arousing in anyway. Rin observed as Akira took his own clothes off and then lightly tugged Rin to the bed. Akira posed himself over Rin and the blond brought down his face for a deep kiss that had him almost swallowing Akira’s tongue. He ran his hands down Akira’s back and grabbed his buttocks. The older male started leaving a trail down of kisses down the blonde’s neck and chest. Rin closed his eyes as Akira whispered the words: ‘ _I want to devour you.’_  The delightful warm and wet sensation of his lover’s mouth around his cock followed. Rin moaned loudly as Akira briefly sucked him off. Rin knew it was just a tease, but he still loved it. His brain was shutting off and he felt Akira stop. He opened his eyes to watch as Akira lubricated his fingers and inserted them into Rin loosening him up. The blond felt chills when Akira found his prostate and lightly massaged it for a moment.

 The best was yet to come for Rin however. He nearly came when he felt Akira slide his cock into his ass. It was an amazingly full feeling and he basked in it for a moment, making sure he was comfortable. Akira had salvia drip from his mouth and onto Rin’s chest because of how excited he was. He loved the way it felt inside of his mate and soon began to lose himself in the moment. Akira lifted Rin’s legs and began to pound into the warm space Rin had allotted for him. He was groaning, and Rin’s pleasured screams were suddenly the loudest thing Akira had ever heard. He put himself balls deep in the blond and came so hard he moaned deeply while he vision blurred. Rin arched his back with a whimper as he came and felt weakness wash over him. Akira let go of his grip on Rin’s legs and both of their bodies fell limp.

 The afterglow swaddled Rin and he never wanted to let go of this heaven. Rin laid on his side and Akira followed so that they faced each other. The look in Akira’s eyes returned that prince-like feeling in Rin. Akira felt his heart be happy at the look of Rin. To Akira, Rin was the only person in the world that he felt this type of passion for. When Rin moved in, Akira offered his body as a wrapping. He let the blond sink deep into him and Rin listened to Akira’s heartbeat. Akira felt himself relaxing and getting tired. In his half asleep he muttered without thinking:

“I love you.”


End file.
